i feel the need to clarify a previous post.

i’m not upset and depressed about not having someone to share my life with. because in thinking about it, i honestly am not looking for “that someone”, and i’m not at this point interested in having “that someone”. i am really uninterested for a number of reasons.

what is upsetting me is the fact that i’m *thinking* that i *should* want that. it upsets me that i have this lump in the back of my head saying “you should be at ____ point in your life, you should be married, you should have a kid” when i know that i don’t HAVE to be at that point now, or ever. i am my own person, and what i do with my life is not ruled by the so called conventions of society – marriage, family, career.

but more so than lately i keep thinking i *should* be at such and such a point, and i should be doing X, when i used to not think about any of that at all. and that’s the problem.