so…still trying not to cry. i was doing pretty good this morning, and i thought today would end up ok. but for no reason, i want to cry again. almost cried at the job place, almost cried in the car, almost crying now. MAKE IT GO AWAY! heh i should listen to korn.
anyway. the job thing. had to take tests and stuff…like excel test, word test, and then data entry tests…i havent used excel in years. actually, i’ve never used excel. i used the spreadsheet program that came with microsoft works, when i needed to use one (which was never, but i did know how to use it)…i had to skip all the questions that were about creating formulas to do stuff with the data lol. and i still got an above average score. LOL how does that work?! i thought i basically failed that test. then the word test, they had me attempt do to all kinds of weird stuff that 1. i don’t know how to do 2. don’t know why you’d ever want to do them. and the way the tests were set up, you only got 2 chances to do something…the monitor was blurry and the mouse sucked, so if u accidentally clicked on something, that was a wrong answer. so i thought i did really poorly on that too even tho i use word all the time… hello, i was just in college for 4 years, i know how to use word. but i did REALLY good on that test somehow lol. and then for the data entry they look for a speed of 5000 or something, and i got 9500 LOL. so…they said that i’ll probably get placed in a bank in amherst doing computer stuff – fixing problems with ppls accounts and stuff, calling people about mistakes or whatever. it’s temp to full time, but even if they don’t hire me, it’s long time temp so i’d still be there at least a few months once i get a position. too bad i’m not doing teller work in amherst…since we all know the sabres live out there 🙂 but whatever. we’ll see. i guess the hours are 10-7. whatever.
while i keep saying that all i want is to sit in a cubicle in front of a computer (yes, how sad is that), i’m going to miss the social atmosphere of working in my past jobs with people my age. i love hard rock. i love talking to the ppl who work there, and seeing the tourists, and all that. i loved mcds, and the relationships i had with the morning girls there. so now i’m not sure if sitting in a cubicle is going to be good for me. but oh well. maybe something will work out so that i can keep 1 day a week at hard rock or something…i’m looking too far in advance, need to stay in the present. live for the now. fuck the future.
oh yeah, on my way home i passed 2 electronic pianos on the curb waiting to be taken to the dump…2…electric…pianos. in different parts of town. isn’t that weird?
crying again. can’t help it.
bluephisto: it’s limbo, not hell that kills you
that only makes sense to me, but it made me feel better.
i was organizing my archives again, categorizing them and stuff. a few things..
– i think some posts are missing. cuz sometimes, things make no sense. like i reference an earlier post, that doesn’t exist. but i don’t know for sure, or how to fix it
– i met nate on july 22nd. sometimes i think i’m too attached to him, too quickly, for my own good. but i knew this would happen. it happened the moment i shook his hand at work his first day. i mean, go look at that day’s posts…it’s talking about how fantastic he is. hey, at least that continues to prove i’m a good judge of character. carolyn is proud of me for doing this whole relationship thing, risking my own personal pain, even tho i know there is no future, since he’s leaving…
– i still laugh about eric telling me that i WILL wait a week to go out with nate the first time, and that i will NOT get impatient and lose interest. thank you dear, i appreciate your help!
the onion smell has been replaced with a pancake smell which has been replaced with a something is burning smell. but at least the onion smell is gone.
i started reading the godfather last night, and i’m impressed with how good a job the movie did sticking to the book so far. and it makes me even more impressed with the actors who were in it.
i feel sorta better. not 100%. not even 50 probably, but better. almost cried at dinner, but was laughing too so that’s good. now i’m trying to look forward to tomorrow.
i dunno if i’m going to do more flash lessons tonight or not. my head sorta hurts, so i might skip my lesson tonight. lol
and why are there no sites filled with osbournes waves?
ok now my room just smells. went downstairs and watched part of the west wing, cuz my parents had it on. then nate called, talked to him for a bit. had some ice cream, came back up here, and it smells. i don’t even know of what, but i don’t like it and it needs to go away. have to find febreeze and just cover everything.
i’m in a better mood. it was slowly getting better since dinner, and now i’m feeling like 75% better now. tomorrow should be good. nate said he has no money, so tomorrow we have to do something lame. i told him i didn’t care what we did, we could sit here all day for all i cared…so he mentioned having a nose picking contest or something lol. he said he’d hose me, and i told him that’s an honor he could feel free to enjoy, and i’ll just lose with grace. haha. my mom reminded me that the corn maze is open down the street, so if that’s not 7$ like the geneseo one was, maybe we’ll tackle that beast tomorrow. i don’t really care what we do.
current mood: better
ok when i typed better, i totally heard it in my head as lestat says it in queen of the damned. me and carolyn mention all the time about how we can’t read or say certain words without associating them with hedwig… like “optimistic” and “basically”…for example. and now i have a qotd one haha.