i’m having some michael jackson issues.
1. for the first time i’m having a hard time conceptualizing that the person who made thriller is the same person who is in the media lens now. the other day me and danielle watched mj on mtv for a while, they showed billie jean and for the first time in my life/my mj fandom it occured to me that he used to be black and now he’s not. i was like woah, this is amazing, cuz it’s a black man who made a video that broke barriers etc…all the stuff he gets praised for as an 80s artist…i was just completely impressed. i just had a really strange progression of thoughts when i saw that video the other day.
2. there is something about him that makes me really uneasy lately. i mean, he really looks bad. and it’s not just the plasticness of his face and all that i joke about. there is something else, which makes me think he really doesn’t want to do any of this anymore. it’s like he’s tired. and scared. so i was reading the mj article in the bono Details magazine and there was a quote in it about his tribute concerts. “when Jackson finally pulls up in some customized black limo-cum-Popemobile (he’s wearing a silvery, sparkly blazer and, on his arm, the inevitable Liz Taylor) he doesn’t look unhealthy or even particularly odd. But his eyes have a disturbingly empty, even fearful, quality about them.”….THAT IS EXACTLY IT! that is really what is bothering me about his appearance.. not the unmovable upper lip, not the inability to express emotions – it’s that his eyes are dead. he doesn’t look like he is happy at all, it doesn’t look, even on stage, like he is having fun..and that makes me very sad.

i’m having a hard time coming to terms with my “relationship” with michael lately…i don’t know what it is. there are times when his flashes of brilliance blow me away, and then there are times where sometimes i question my sanity. he is a genuis and is incredibly talented. and i love him even if i dont like pop music, and never in my life like pop music again. there is no question he started it all, and all that. but i’m so scared for him and i don’t know why. i think he’s going to die soon – some kind of tragic-princess diana-esque kind of death. and while i will mourn in some way for the loss, i’ll also be somewhat…”happy”…because i think it’s his time to go. i’m not making sense in my own head, so i can’t imagine how this makes sense. and i also realize that no one who reads this can relate at all to what i’m saying since only a few of my friends are mj fans. and those that are dont share my feelings about mj’s death. lol. mj cant get old. big stars should not be allowed to get old. james dean is remembered as the rebel without a cause, and marilyn monroe is remembered in the white dress over the subway vent. michael jackson needs to be remembered as the musical genius in the sparkly black jacket and sequined white glove. if he gets old, and i’m talking like 60s+, he’s not going to be remembered that way. and i’m scared of that.

danielle and i went pumpkin hunting today and listened to Dangerous in the car. we discussed a future MJ tour of the US and the possibility of a Buffalo date at the arena…i got so excited at the thought of camping out in line over night/tailgating…seeing all my mj fan friends again, thinking of who all would come to Buffalo to see the show with me…just how much fun it would be. god i hope that happens.

stars that shouldn’t have aged:
1. marlon brando
2. al pachino

stars that haven’t aged in years:
1. david bowie

stars that are better now that they have aged
1. steve tyler and joe perry
2. keith richards lol

i forget the rest of the people i had in those categories.

have i mentioned recently that i want bono’s flag jacket? i want it more now than ever due to these pics of him in it in Details…it is seriously the coolest jacket ever and not just cuz it’s bono’s.



as if i could be any more in love with bono i go and read the details magazine article and i’m just omg. it was just so entirely cute. it showed he was human and caring, and even though it’s a in-print interview with some journalist, he is so charming…omg omg omg.

people say bono has a big ego, which is probably true. everyone famous has an ego…but i think part of it is the whole self mocking ego bit that i do, as well as eric and carolyn LOL….a lot of bonos ego-ness is a stage thing i think…of course i dont know him, so LOL….but there is nothing wrong with having an ego when you can also laugh about yourself, which it is so clear that bono can do and does often.

i think, as of now, if i was to meet any of my fav celebrities, i’d have the most personally embarassing reaction to meeting bono. i wouldn’t faint, i’m so not like that…but i’d probably act like a complete retard, and he’d be like, ok ur dumb, bye. hah…

why is everyone i like shorter than me…bono is 5 freaking 7…ug. trent is like 5’6″ or 5’7″….that’s so incredibly akward to be a girl meeting your fav singer and being taller than them. how are they supposed to lean down and kiss you if your taller than them?!?! LOL i guess jay gordon makes up for all the short people i like lol.

ok i need to stop. so what did i do today? me and danielle drove to avon in search of pumpkins and to go to Tops market (since we’re stuck shopping at wegmans :P)…we found pumpkins but were driving to fast to stop, so we kept going to find the Tops first. We were so excited to be going to tops YAY we’re dorks. it was the cutest little Tops ever. And they had Details magazine so it was all good. then we went back to pumpkin guy. he was nice, funny, missing teeth townie LOL…cheap pumpkins tho. Danielle got a big one for 3 bucks, i got a bit smaller one for 2…her pumpkin would have been like 7 bucks at Wegmans. so tonight is pumpkin carving night while the hockey game is on…

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