1. just talked to nate’s mom. i want to cry. i’m not sure why but i just do. they haven’t talked to him, like talk talk, no phone at all. she said they’ve gotten a couple letters from him, and it seems things are so far so good. now she thinks he’s off being assigned to even more remote of a place. they sent him a few boxes of stuff, but doesn’t know if he got them or not. i want to hear from him so badly. i am so tired of crying.

2. i am such a retard on the phone. actually, just now i was ok. but i told carolyn about the retarded message i left for nate’s parents, then adr called yesterday to talk and it’s just so ackward. the moments of silence are 100 times worse than moments of silence in person. ug. i hate it. i don’t know what to say, i don’t know how to respond on the phone. how did i used to spend hours at a time on the phone?

3. i had amy and sarah read my grad essay and they said the beginning is choppy, so i gotta look that over and submit it today. i don’t know if i should number my answers, since it was 4 numbered questions to answer…or do it in a real essay form with intro and conclusion. i don’t think i can possibly write an intro and conclusion for it. so forget it. whatever.

4. i need to write nate a letter. god i wish i knew if he got my first 2 things, i just want to hear from him. what is wrong with him that he can’t take 2 min to scribble me a quick letter!!! grrrrrr a long long time ago i got mad at a penpal i had because she’d write to me once a year…i couldn’t understand how she could have been so busy that she couldn’t take 5 minutes to write me something. same thing with some people now and email. you can’t tell me you don’t have an extra 5-10 minutes to drop a quick note to say hi. well that went off in an unexpected direction…