blogged last night, but blogger ate it. so here we go again.

eric, tiffany and amanda ended up coming over last night, adr came over after the sabres game. i feel bad for tiff, she must think we’re such losers. she’s at my house twice and both times we play games – first time, when parents were in cali, eric tiff nate and i played scattergories…this time, trivial pursuit. now i’m just going to quote amanda: “Evening highlights inculded Saras mom having to say part of “Who Let the Dogs Out” – woof woof woof woof woof. And Eric doing a really bad impression of Popeye which only I(amanda) got.” i won this time, in a sudden death round against eric because we were running out of time to go pick up ty.

ty’s flight was delayed til midnight, but i guess late at night they don’t change the tv screens cuz it still said on time 11:30…so we didn’t know if it really had landed or not, so we just sat there and waited. it was delayed, he got there, we took him to his hotel then adr and i went to dennys cuz we were starving. the airport went ok. i didn’t cry, i just felt like throwing up…stupid stuff like not being able to look at where we had been sitting…blahblahblah. definitely would have cried had i been alone. yay for the inability to cry in front of my friends.

so tonight is the big night. hopefully everything goes smoothly…hopefully i can stand 8 hours in my too small pants. i guess i’m going to dinner out with my parents before hand, but must be home by 7 to go to work. i tried sleeping in a whole lot to get used to the staying up so late, i got up at 1 when my dad came in my room to ask me about dinner. of course it wasn’t a good sleep, still the off and on…and a few times i was on the verge of shaking – my latest medical disorder…since nate left i have this new thing where i’ll wake up cuz i’m shaking…but i don’t know if i’m really shaking or it just feels like i am. it’s hard to explain. the first time it happened was the night after nate left. it’s happened a few times since then. last night a few times it just felt like if i didn’t wake myself up i would start shaking and wake up anyway. it’s a very strange feeling. i know, i’m nuts.

i had a wicked cool, but at one point scary, dream last night…somehow i was at some place where u2 was, under some big tent in someones back yard. actually, only bono was there, and lots of employees. i ended up applying for a job with them. for some reason, one of the other employees was coaching me on how to fill it out so that i’d get the job, and for some reason the fact that i know johnny from econoline crush was important, and i should write it on there. then i got to meet bono, cuz he was doing something under this tent. i had to tell him something about his shoes. then at one point he was leaning against something and he had taken his glasses off and he looked like psycho exbf. i was like wtf. he looks so awful he should never take his glasses off. then i was really confused because i had seen pictures in the past of bono without glasses on and he never looked like that. so i guess i was just halucinating.

icenine.org presents: sara’s year in review…by sara. (and i started doing this before i saw that amanda did haha)
january:…most of the time was christmas break at home working at mcds. returned to school and a very bad situation.
february:…bad situation got worse. academic probation. housemate moved out. things settled down.
march:…more school. break. met up with ty and heather in toronto.
april:…more school. earthquake.
may:…end of school. graduation. vegas.
june:…new orleans. got a new job at hard rock cafe.
july:…work. met nate.
august:…work. started dating nate. bowie. hedwig.
september:…work slows down. less hours. sept 11th 2002.
october:…parents on vacation. hockey. halloween.
november:…parents on vacation again. preparing for nate’s departure. indiana. quit my job.
december:…nate leaves. start new job. christmas in michigan.

things i learned in 2002:
1. be careful what you say.
2. real friends can overlook past mistakes.
3. what my friends do is not my problem. all i need to do is be there for them when things fall apart.
4. i am not completely dysfunctional.
5. there is no point in emotionally isolating yourself from other people in fear of getting hurt. you’re just cheating yourself of the opposite. and to live life you have to have both.
6. there is nothing, yet so much, to be scared of.

what happens now?
2003 looks to be the most mysterious year yet…the first year that isn’t completely scheduled for me already. every other year i just went to school. not much changes when you’re in school for 16 years. the entier year will depend on what i decide to do now…new job, new life…grad school? open my restaurant? where things stand with nate and i?
i feel like some things are slipping away…i guess i should just let them go. all this shit in my head. i guess we’ll just wait and see, right?