haha yeah i just got pulled over by an NT cop…speeding and going through stop signs. did i get a ticket? of course not. i don’t know how i manage not to get tickets but i’m not questioning it. he asked how fast i was going, and i said i didn’t know (cuz i don’t think i was speeding…probably was, but haha…and the stop signs, yeah…haha i go through them every night). then he asked if i thought i was going fast, and i said no LOL so he said, let’s try this again, were you going fast, YES YES I WAS! I WAS GOING SO FAST! so he said not to let him catch me again. good thing it wasn’t nathan or i’d be dead. funny thing was, on the way home i was thinking about how if i got a ticket i’d have to get off work to go to traffic court, and all this…and then i get pulled over. that’s why i gotta stop thinking bad things about people, they’re gonna start happening.

another funny thing…i am surprised at how not upset i get being pulled over. i mean…when i got pulled over leaving nate’s a few months ago, i had been upset and crying. then i get pulled over and i’m perfectly calm and fine…same with tonight. wasn’t nervous, no tears…haha. weird.

 

the mj show…running commentary.
– count of the use of the word disturbing by bashir: 2… i lost track and stopped listening for it.
– i should be counting the number of times MJ says “magic”…
– holy crap is his face ever horrifying. at first it looked ok…end of the tree segment…i’m gonna have nightmares.
– he’s got some interesting paintings on his walls. wow.
– i wonder what he thinks about when watching performances in the jackson 5
– i want his big jolly green giant statue
– everyone was making a big deal about how he went shopping in vegas and just pointed at things to buy without looking at the price tags. well when you’re rich and have millions of dollars, how much things cost doesn’t really matter. plus the fact that he had taken bashir into the store to show him what he already bought…so he pointed at things and said, i bought that. who knows what really happened when he was there buying them. yes he pointed at a few extra things and said he wanted them without the price, but again. if i had 300 million dollars i wouldn’t be worrying about prices either.
– ROFL he spells out “fuck” haha best moment of the interview
– holy mother…the paparazzi at the berlin zoo. unbelievable. i couldn’t live like that.
– he has flamingos!!
– throughout this whole thing, it hasn’t been that big of a deal. until this part…about children. and now bashir is a dick. first off, this is supposed to be a documentary…his opinions are not necessary. he doesn’t need to be mentioning how uncomfortable he is, and how he HAS to confront MJ about his “obsession with children”…that’s bullshit.
– ok so it didn’t tape the whole interview. i wonder if my parents fucked it up or if it went over…there’s still tape left (it’s general hospital from last may) arg pissed off now. cuz this was the real controversial part.

ok so from what i’ve seen, i don’t get what the big deal was about all this. it’s no more weird or sad or whatever from every other MJ interview. that’s MJ…he’s eccentric. get over it. bashir wasn’t all that much of a dickhead until the end. yeah his opinions throughout the show were really unnecessary, but whatever. it’s obvious that he was highly biased as to MJ going into the interview, far from being an objective reporter. he asked leading questions in order to get sensational answers…but i think we all know, that’s what investigative journalism does…i’m surprised i don’t have more of an opinion on all this. i still think sandy’s the mother of #3 haha.

gotta find this online so i can see the end.

on another note, there is just something really funny about this headline “Rolling Stones Give Free Concert — No One Killed” haha

 

i just want to say that i still get really upset about everything that happened this time last year. like…i was thinking about it the other day, and i started crying. and YES i know i cry like every day, i haven’t cried that much this week, but i cried thinking about all the shit.

secondly. i’m going blind. my right eye. i need to see an eye doctor, like, a real one…not someone who just gives u glasses. do you need a referral to see one?

thirdly, and this is not new information. i hate my life. i hate everything about it. and i’m sorry for taking it out on everyone else. my first friday off in forever, and i spent it in a way i did not want to AT all. i should have made plans to go to geneseo like i was considering, but i didn’t. and after a week of feeling ok, i’m miserable again.

i think i need to remove myself from everything. everything i do and everything i say causes more trouble. and it’s not worth it.