i don’t get my mom. i guess she’s trying to help but it’s not working. she goes from telling me that there’s no point in trying to save my relationship with nate and make it work while hes gone – that my aunt and uncle who did it and got married are a fluke – that it never works…. to telling me that i can’t make myself sick over nate leaving, that long distance things can work, look at my aunt and uncle, they did it and got married. that i can save my money and go out and see him, or meet him someplace in europe.

well you know what, i can make myself sick over this, and i’m going to because i don’t have any other choice. i can’t make myself not feel this way. so shut the fuck up.

it was busy at work today. worked 6.5 hours. this is pretty much my last weekend there. there is no point in me staying hired there, since theres only really 4 days she can schedule me in the next 2 weeks (cuz they are no longer putting hosts on during the weekdays…and i need the 14th off to take the INS exam…). so i told her i’d let her know for sure tomorrow, and she thought it was probably a good idea. i just have to tell my parents now.

i don’t get to see nate til sunday afternoon or maybe evening. he’s having boys night tonight so he can say goodbye to his 2 best friends from high school. tomorrow night his parents are having christmas for him. so sunday…i’m having 2nd thoughts about going to the airport, because i’m going to be such a wreck…i know i’ll go anyway. it’ll be weird if his whole family goes too…his bros would have to miss school, and his mom would be late for work if they all went…so still don’t know what’s going on with that.

next saturday is girls night for a girl at works birthday. i guess we’re going to chippewa to get wasted. they’re getting a hotel, but i’m not going to stay. kristen doesn’t want to stay over either, so she said she’d drive the 2 of us so i can get drunk. since after january i’ll have no friends here anymore, larry volunteered to be my friend and take me out to bars. kristen joked that they were all going to turn me into an alcoholic.

well since blogger didnt publish this the first time, i’ll update this post. ended up going to wild wings with eric, amanda, karl and kelley for an hour. we’re big partiers. they might have a party up at RIT next weekend, and if it’s friday i’ll prolly go up. drag adr too. i’ll have nothing else to do since i won’t be working and have no friends.