i’m so tired, and it’s nice and cool outside, so i’m hoping to sleep later than 8 tomorrow.
work was so boring. it might have been the slowest day i’ve worked so far. i cant imagine what it’s going to be like in 3 weeks when our season dies. it started off ok, mainly because of who was there. but he left at 6 lol. then the one girl, laurie, was driving me insane the whole night. of course she was the one who was supposed to be in charge, and she got to go home at 10:30…arg. so i bitched at our manager for letting her leave, he said he’d let me go early tomorrow. well thanks, cuz tomorrow i didn’t want to leave early, cuz i figure i’ll probably go to the bar with nick after we get out…but whatever. so i had to stay til 12. laurie actually did everything, and i had to do zero. haha. i had to lock the doors. ooooh that was hard. i probably shouldn’t bitch, and instead be happy and thankful she did all my work for me.
i had to use the pay phone to call…someone…for this chinese woman. i don’t know what she wanted me to say, because she didn’t really speak english. but she was lost, and waiting for the travel car…and wanted me to call this number and tell the person she was lost and waiting for him, but couldn’t call because she had to make sure not to miss the travel car?!?! so i was like ooook, i called and left them a message. hahah. whatever.
there is NO ONE to switch shifts with on thursday, because of the stupid girl who only works 11-3 and is annoying as hell and i hate her. ug. so i’m trying to switch my swing on friday for a day shift. i can use the same excuse i was going to use for thursday, and it actually makes more sense to use on friday…i should see the girl i want to switch with tomorrow for a lil bit, so i can ask her then. gimme good vibes 🙂
omg i’m so tired, if i don’t sleep good tonight someone is going to die tomorrow
wake up time today: sometime when it was still dark. 2nd wake up time: 8:30 WHAT THE HELL!!!!! ug. now i have all day to be awake and doing nothing. i might have been able to fall back asleep this time, but theres some kind of construction around here that was making the ground, and therefor my house, shake every 5 seconds. it was really irritating.
the traditional end of summer is upon us. this time the past 4 years i was packing up to go back to school. this year, not so much. it’s a weird feeling. i keep thinking “oh i should do that before i leave”, and then i remember, i’m not leaving. i’ll still be here in september. it’s odd.
despite what seems to have been a lack of activity this summer, i think alot has happened. eric and i keep saying how we did NOTHING this summer…no trips, no big concerts, nothing. especially compared to last summer. but as i said, alot has happened, and alot has changed.
for the most part i think everything has changed for the better. at least as far as i am concerned. things mellowed out by july, and i think everyone was more or less content. and i feel like my relationships with everyone have changed, mostly in good ways. i feel like there are some people now i can talk to and be more honest to than i could before. like, we’ve gotten a greater understanding of eachother because of what has happened over the summer. and i’m really glad that happened. maybe this is just me, but that’s how i’m seeing things. i feel like i can be straight up with people, be like “listen, this is how it is…” where as i didn’t feel like i could before. so i feel like i’m walking on fewer egg shells than i used to be, which i think is cool.
maybe it’s just me that’s changed. i tried to get a new perspective on things and it’s working for the most part. my whole “not my problem” stance has worked pretty good. my opinions on certain subjects are known, and that’s all that is needed. i’ve said my piece about things, and now i’m here for when i’m needed. and i feel fine about that. i’m not killing myself over other people at the moment (just myself haha). NOT SAYING THAT I DON’T CARE, just not being involved until i need to be.
my internal state…last week sucked, this week is better. i still feel sick tho, which i do not understand AT ALL. i still can’t eat without gagging haha. there is no need for me to be sick still. normally it would be the other way around…feel sick when i saw him, feel fine by myself, and it’s the completely opposite right now. feel sick all day til i go to work, feel fine there, feel fine with him…i don’t get it lol. but i’m happy. i’m feeling a bit optimistic for once, and trying not to look too far into the future (like, december :P) because who knows what’ll have happened by then. to quote one of the greatest movie’s ever… “live in the now!” 🙂
*fin*
i think i figured out why i’m completely dysfunctional on the telephone. besides that i have bad conversation skills lol. i think i have a hard time because i can’t see the person. i think i rely alot on reading lips, although i don’t do it consciously, to understand what people are saying. it’s not cuz i can’t hear, i just think it ads to the sound. it’s especially bad when on the phone with people i have a hard time understanding in person – due to speech patterns or mumbling. like my dad – cannot talk to my dad on the phone AT all. i mean, we both don’t talk, so it’s ackward as hell to be on the phone with him. but then he mumbles all the time too, so it’s like WHAT ARE YOU SAYING. and on the phone with nate the other day, when he said i laughed differently…i had no idea what he said (turns out he said i laugh differently on the phone than in person). the only person i can think of who i don’t have a problem talking to on the phone is danielle. everyone else, it’s like…yeah i don’t know what you’re saying. OMG when muhammed called me on sunday, i had NO IDEA who he was, because i couldn’t understand him when he said his name. and i didn’t want to be like, WHO IS THIS?! lol. so i picked up who he was from the conversation hahaha.
i still hate the phone because i hate calling and having to talk to people other than the person i’m calling for. especially if it’s someone i don’t know real well. because then i’m always scared they’re not going to know who i am lol.
my mom is whistling along with “dont stop til you get enough” haha. she said something really clever today, made me laugh, about working tonight. hahah. i think she’s sorta ok about nate. like the other night, she kept calling him “That Boy” and i’m like “that boy” has a name. she replies, “i don’t want to know his name and like him and get attached to him.” LOL. but i showed her his picture and she was all like, yeah he is really cute, and i mentioned she could come to HRC for dinner tonight and meet him and she said that it’d be cool…so i guess that’s good.