i am a frequent reader of this guys blog. it’s called life in prozac park. he’s a gay man who was outed by his exboyfriend to his mother, and is now suffering intolerably by being forced to live with his mother until he gets on his feet again (due to other things, he was pretty much homeless for a while). This guy is fascinating to me. haha i don’t know why. but anyway, he had this quote “Nothing makes the holidays more tolerable then alcohol.” and boy is that true!!! my first holiday being 21, christmas at my dad’s sisters house on christmas day will be nice. they’re alcoholics, and they will give me drinks. they made me a white russian when we visited this summer that was the strongest drink i’ve ever had. i was very nicely buzzed, but was still able to hide it well….i also hadn’t had a drink in months, so that added to it LOL. but the problem is, christmas at their house is actually tolerable, sometimes even fun. i can say that i occasionally enjoy the day spent at their house. however this may all change since my cousin had another baby, so now there are 2 young kids to deal with. i dealt with the first one last year nicely. no one gave me the baby to hold, THANK GOD, and so i’m figuring no one will offer me the new one either. but i think the 1st one, warren, is about 2 or something now, which means hyper and talking and irritating…so i’ll need those white russians.
but then there is christmas with my mom’s family, at my grandparents house where we stay while we visit. that is where i need the alcohol. they have 2 nice little sample bottles of absolute above their TV and every time i go, i think about stealing them and drinking them and replacing them with water so they’ll never know i drank them. i would probably have alot of fun at their house if i could pass the time in a drunken haze. maybe this year will be different since i am 21 now, and my grandpa has apparently turned into an alcoholic now. he was an alcoholic, and then he quit long ago i guess, but recently he’s been drinking every night or something. i dunno, but i guess my mom is concerned. i don’t see why…he’s like..75 or something, he’s had a stroke and like 25 heart attacks (no lie)…he only uses 20% of his heart because it’s so damaged. he never knew he had any of the heart attacks until the last one that was bad, and he went to the hospital for. so he’s going to die soon, why not let him get drunk….i mean, she lived with him when he was an alcoholic, so she’d know what he’s like drunk…i guess he’s an asshole (lol he’s an asshole anyway lol)….but still HES OLD!! let him do what he wants. ANYWAY the point of this was, that since he’s drinking again, maybe he’ll offer some to me. That won’t go over good though, this will be what happens:
grandpa: sara, want some whiskey?
me: yes that’d be great.
mom: no.
grandpa: come on, sar-car-laura. she can have some, she’s 21 now
me: yah i can deal
mom: no, she doesn’t need to be drinking.
grandpa: GODDAMN IT LET HER HAVE SOME ALCOHOL!
me: yeah, let me have some.
mom: NO GODDAMN IT ITS CHRISTMAS AND SHE DOESNT NEED ANY ALCOHOL!
grandpa: GODDAMN IT SHE’S MY GRANDDAUGHTER AND I SAID SHE CAN HAVE SOME.
mom: SHES MY DAUGHTER! SHE DOESNT NEED TO BE DRINKING
dad: *looks on without saying anything*
me: whatever *sulks*
grandma: *hands me some coffee with a bunch of alcohol in it* (lol ok that wouldn’t happen)
continued argument between grandpa and mother about me drinking, and then me getting a lecture from grandpa about how its ok to drink as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. and then later my mom yelling at me for even thinking about having a drink at their house…grandpa flying off the handle and creating a big scene, with other family members jumping in until no one is speaking for the rest of the night. and maybe insert me and someone like Carol fleeing from the house, to a restaurant or something, and me being able to drink anyway
lol
i haven’t been out of the house in 2 days. so i didn’t know what to expect in regards to the weather today. i decide to go turn in my journal, and figuring it’s cold out since it has been lately, i put on my heavy coat. i walk outside and it’s warm! so i go turn in my journal, and walk out of the building, and of course, it’s raining now! so here i am, it’s warm out, i have my winter coat on, and it’s raining. so now i’m sweating to death cuz its humid and i was all hot in my coat…blah.
yet another person is amazed by my xmas card:
amanda: LOL…your Christmas card is AWESOME!
sara: LOL
sara: YAY you liked it!!!
amanda: did you send the same one to everyone?
sara: yes
sara: only 3 ppl will fully appreciate it
sara: and i’m glad u did lol
amanda: its great
sara: lol
amanda: I was going “I GOT THE CARD!! I GOT THE CARD!!” when I went to my mialbox
amanda: and my friends were like “lemme see”
sara: LOL
amanda: and they all went “ummm…ok”
sara: LOL
amanda: then I went “You dont understand! this is the greatest card ever!” and they went “riiight”
sara: HAHA