sick

i’ve felt like wicked crap all week. waking up with headaches, being unable to get a good sleep, feeling puke-y. just generally unwell, for no apparent reason. then i realized that i felt sick like this at the beginning of last summer too. how did i figure it out? the fact that i have an apple in my fridge from last june. when i feel this way all i want to eat is fruit – and i don’t crave fruit normally. but the apple reminded me that i felt like shit in june last year too haha. it’s still green, and not mushy…wtf radioactive apples!

i’m reading memoirs of a geisha, and it’s a used copy. reading last night a newspaper article fell out of the book. from the ny times, 2001, it’s an article about the woman who’s life the book is loosely based on, and her lawsuit against the author. on the other side of the article, a picture of bono and edge hahahahah. it was about u2’s elevation show at madison square garden. i found that sort of amusing.

the car is back…maybe…it’s not outside my house my parents must have taken it back to theirs. need it, need desperately to go to the store. need fruit! cuz i’m so not eating that apple.

i feel so so so so sick. something is very wrong with my head and it’s making my whole body feel just terrible. my head hurts but it doesn’t. if i don’t move it won’t hurt, but i still feel weird. once i move and walk around or up stairs it’ll hurt bad again. dizzy and yuck, eyes feel weird. nauseus, stomach weird. tired. even if i call my neurologist tomorrow i won’t get an appt for at least a month i’m sure. by then i might be fine. or i might be dead. something is very wrong. i feel like i’m in withdrawl but i haven’t stopped taking any of my meds. ug ug ug

if i die. it’s because i had an aneurysm…my head feels REALLY funny suddenly.. it feels like half my brain (left hemisphere) swelled up. but only along one line. from behind my eyebrow, straight to the back of my head, but curved up a bit as it went back. and my ear hurts. i really need a ct scan or mri or something. must call dr.

 

 

ok… my friends know about my continuing neurological difficulties. i just want to say my neurologist is a retard, because i totally had this, and he was like oh ur fine
“A transient ischemic attack (TIA) is just like a stroke, except that it lasts only a few minutes. It occurs when the blood supply to part of the brain is briefly interrupted. TIA symptoms, which usually occur suddenly, are similar to those of stroke but do not last as long. Most symptoms of a TIA disappear within an hour, although they may persist for up to 24 hours. Symptoms can include: numbness or weakness in the face, arm, or leg, especially on one side of the body; confusion or difficulty in talking or understanding speech; trouble seeing in one or both eyes; and difficulty with walking, dizziness, or loss of balance and coordination.”

from ninds.nih.gov or something… but yeah, every symptom listed there, i had…