let’s see what’s been going on

i gave in and went back to walmart to look at fabric and patterns. bought way too much fabric for what i was making but that’s ok. just have to do something else with it. so i made this thing and it took me an obscene amount of time, but then again i had to make sure to read all the instructions 1000 times, and then make it harder than it was supposed to be cuz i got creative. and i got totally confused at the end and was trying to figure it out with adr on IM hahaha. eventually it worked out. finished it today… i think it took like 10 hrs total LOL. gonna take pics when i get my digi back from the parents house.

i got my colored contacts on wed. i had ordered green but they were out so i got aqua…and i thought no way are these gonna show up on my dark eyes. but they do. of course, they’re not quite the color the photos show them as, but they definitely are a weird cadillac blue color. i think they sorta look frightening hahah. i dunno it might just be me. 26 years with brown eyes will do that. wore them to work tonight and mary was the only one who noticed. she said they looked pretty but she also said my extensions were nice but said they looked terrible to other ppl 😛

and i did something i vowed i’d never do. i bought mary kate and ashely endorsed products. they were the only cosmetics that currently have a dark blue shimery eye stick. and i got loose eye shadow in this super sparkly beige/gold color, but i think it has the worst packaging ever. it comes in what lip gloss comes in – a mascara type container with a fuzzy stick applicator. ok that’s fine for lip gloss but for loose powder eye shadow it just means that every time you pull the wand out it sprays all over the place. stupids.

what else. david is coming to buffalo wednesday so that means lots of exploring. tons going on tomorrow that i’m not going along for cuz i had to work late tonight. oh well. next week will be enough. plus i think maybe hitting silver creek with dusty next sunday. i was given instructions for getting into bob but i haven’t decided if i want to risk arrest yet or not. i really need to practice climbing fences. i should do that at the terminal lol.

i really need to clean and straighten up and unpack the rest of my shit and hang up pictures considering i’ve been living here for 3.5 months now haha. the ant problem seems to be under control, and i haven’t seen anymore tree crickets inside either. good thing.

i need something to sew so i have an excuse to buy the cute halloween fabrics at walmart. all i can think of is a purse or something, but i looked at patterns at walmart and i’m scared to try anything now that adr isn’t here to help me. and they need fastenings or fusings or something that i don’t know what that means. i found 2 really awesome goth/lolita pattern books from japan on ebay that i really want. the seller claims that tho it’s all in japanese it’s easy to follow the patterns. they’re around 30$ tho…i’m going to have to see if hui zhen knows japanese as well as chinese, or if she can help me with the patterns. she has lots of great chinese pattern books, the clothes are cut so much better than american ones haha. only problem, i only understand like every 3rd word she says hahaha.

i’m super super bored.

the colored contacts i ordered were out of the color i wanted, so i’m getting some other color. they called and asked me. these are supposedly products of italy, but the call was from manitoba. haha

i just want to say, that this new blockbuster movie “the world trade center”, with Nickolas Cage looks absolutely awful. and i say that even beyond my hatred of him. i think there is just something wrong in recreating the event in a hollywood studio with high tech computer graphics, when the real thing actually happed and we all watched it on tv. it was something unimaginable, something we thought we’d only ever see in a movie, but it was real. and now there is a movie about it. there’s just something in that, that doesn’t sit right with me. and it just looks cheesy as all hell. the A&E movie on Flight 93 looks better filmed than this one. and i didn’t think there was anything wrong with Flight 93, it was an enigma to everyone. all we knew about it was an airplane was taken over by terrorists, and the passengers attempted to take the plane back. and it crashed. but we all KNOW what happened in NYC on sept 11th. do we really need to watch a movie about it? i sincerely hope it fails at the box office.

so in discussing my recent stomach problems with my mom, we’ve decided that it’s really really really likely that it’s my gallbladder. i have a huge family history of gallbladder problems (mom, grandma, all my grandma’s sisters, great grandparents), and looking online at symptoms, they’re exact. i have an appointment with the specialist in august, and will have to mention it. i’d rather have an ultrasound than have them stick shit down my throat to biopsy my stomach.

i was counting on having tomorrow to do errands, look at my photos, and generally get stuff done. then i remembered the car show at the terminal. crap. i also realized that not only is eric getting married the same day as the tool show, it’s also oktoberfest. so assuming that i’m invited to the wedding, and for being friends for 20 years, i damn well better be, i will be missing oktoberfest as well.

oh and related to that, going to see tool in cleveland on 9-25 instead. no onsale yet, lots of them go onsale tomorrow but not that one.

omg i thought the law offices of *insert lawyer here* in buffalo with william shatner were exclusive to that law firm but they’re not! there was just one on for a different lawyer in detroit. haha he did a generic commercial! i dunno why i find that great.

best church sign in a long time: the best vitamin for christians is b 1. ha ha

and i don’t like “sex in the city” i find it quite annoying. i don’t need to listen to someone narrate their blog. i narrate my own life in my head pretty adequately. she has an annoying voice. god and her friends are beyond obnoxious.

yesterday mom and i arrived, had to wait at the house for the estate sale lady, then headed to royal oak for dinner. we parked by noir leather, the goth store/sex toy store that my aunt had taken me to one xmas eve. i was like I WANT TO GO IN THERE and my mom said “she’d rather not know that i’m a pervert.” LOL *looks at dan*. i eventually went in to look at the clothes, but it was alot of the same lip service and tripp stuff i could get at hot topic for cheaper. or make once i learn to sew hahaha. after dinner we went looking for the mysterious ray’s ice cream shop that we had 2 different directions for. we never found it and no one we asked had heard of it.

today brought exploring with david in detroit. first stop, michigan central station again. and we spent 5 hours there hahahahah. i know he said he never gets tired of mcs, and he goes alot on his own, i can’t help but feel like he MUST have been bored after 5 hours there. god knows i can’t stand spending 5 hours at bct with explorers anymore. spent more time on the first floor, checked out the mezzanine level, then each of the 18 floors. while still on the main floor some guy came walking through. no big deal. later on one of the higher floors i walked by a room and we had woken some guy up. i was startled and then smiled at him. haha didn’t know what else to do. i think that is the first time i’ve encountered a homeless person in any location i’ve been too. psycho ted in REA terminal never actually confronted us, he just started things on fire. and i never talked with jesus the walker (well i may have now if it’s the same homeless guy with a dog).

alot of the floors were the same, but walked through them all anyway. ended up using my whole 512 card. oh yeah, i managed to get the camera to work acceptibly in aperture mode. had to keep it on the lowest f stop since the up button doesn’t work, adjusted the +/-, and it just did longish exposures when necessary. we’ll see how they actually look on something bigger than the camera’s lcd screen.

after mcs we stopped at a gas station to get drinks and the guy gave me a discount for no reason. rock.

i had decided instead of trying to crawl through the tunnel to the post office/school storage building next to mcs we’d go to a factory. i don’t know what first factory david had taken me by, but there were city workers around removing the grass between sidewalk cement cracks. why do that in an abandoned neighborhood is beyond me. he didn’t feel good about them being there so we went over to the packard plant. which is HUGE but david said mostly similar on each floor. big open floors with the typical factory columns. one building led to the rest, each one a bit different, but each floor the same. as david pointed out, it was kind of annoying that you really had no clue as to what each building and each floor did in the construction of cars. it was pretty empty, no equipment, just debris and things dumped. interesting but he said some of the others, especially studebaker in south bend, is way better.

we were out for about 8 hours and he brought me back to the house. went to dinner with my mom and then WE FOUND RAYS ICE CREAM and omg best ice cream in a long time. special made flavors, huuuuge servings. a++ may go there for breakfast tomorrow before going home haha.

found out my dads sister has another child that she gave up for adoption way back when!! and her husband has one not by her too!! i guess technically that means i have another cousin – a half cousin i guess that would make it. and their 2 kids, my real cousins, have no idea. the only people who know are my aunt, my parents, and my dad’s other sister. she had spilled the beans to my parents years and years ago, and no one knows they, and now i, know hahaha. scandalous! mom and i discussed the whole story of my dad’s parents too. my grandma had been married before she married my grandpa which i knew. nothing really secret there. we joke that my dad has a twin though because one of my parents friends cut a picture out of a vermont newspaper and sent it to us because they thought the picture was of my father. this guy looked exactly like my dad, the same hair, same beard, same sort of bald spot in the beard. and he was a photographer. just like my dad. but my mom said dad doesn’t feel like something is missing and that he’s incomplete like some twins do when they don’t know they’re a twin hahah.

so long day. tired but waiting to be tired enough to go to sleep. leaving in the morning to go home, then work at 8.

there was a cricket in my bedroom. at least i think it was a cricket. looked like one, and it jumped, but it was green. wtf gross bugs all over.

my stomach decided to revolt at work today. it was good enough timing that i was able to get some pepto from the emt’s and hide in the bathroom in pain, before going back to my table. i couldn’t afford to leave early again so i was going to try to stick it out. i wasn’t sweating profusely like normal so that was a good thing. thankfully the pain lasted about 25 minutes, and then i was completely fine again. so that was good.

i don’t know what is wrong with it. and i have considered the fact that these may be panic attacks, though they don’t always occur in stressful situations. the only stressful situation was the one last saturday when i saw all the charges on my credit card. with my “training” i also know panic attacks can happen for no discernible reason. but i’m on not one but 2 different anti depressants and i should not be having panic attacks with the drugs. there doesn’t seem to be any food triggers either, at least not for this death pain. the only thing i’ve ingested before having an attack has been gatorade twice. other times it was mashed potatoes, water, breakfast from denny’s, beef and broccoli today…it doesn’t make sense. now if it turns out i do have the bacteria that causes ulcers, maybe this would all make sense. i don’t know. maybe not. i just hope this multi attacks per week thing doesn’t keep happening between now and when i see the specialist in august.

tomorrow peaches. haircut. and getting my credit card straightened up by finding a notary public. and trying to find pink fishnets. and picking up my film. and editing more photos from sunday. they’re all bad. seriously. i looked at some dslr’s today at circuit city. so expensive…

bethlehem steel is overrated. not to say that it wasn’t cool…it just isn’t as good as i was expecting. and it’s not to say i won’t go back. i most definitely will to check out the coke plant side some more. i think the coke plant took about 10 years off my life, but that’s ok. work has been so smoky lately i can feel the tumors growing in my lungs. at first glance i don’t think any of my pictures are any good. that’s what is weird about beth steel…it just doesn’t scream “photo op” to me like alot of other places do. ah well. and i don’t know wtf brian was talking about years ago when he said there was no way in, and there were gates and guards. try walking through the field. you really can’t get much easier.

and the decision to buy a new digital camera has now been made for me. i broke the minolta. tripod fell over, the up button doesn’t work anymore, so i can’t change manual settings. i can still use it on auto. the zoom slide is touchy now, it sticks, but still works. maybe i can still sell it for like 50$ on ebay or something. it seems a shame to throw it out, but i don’t think it’s fixable. time to research.

Jeff Martin in Buffalo

it’s been an eventful 2 days…well…for my life at least haha.

wednesday brought babysitting megan so jenn and jeff could go out. but by saying i babysat, that’s not really true. i was there, and i played with her, but adrienne was there too, and she changed and fed and put megan to bed. but wow she grew alot since i last saw her. and she came to answer the door. wasn’t expecting that haha. but it was fun. hung out with jenn and jeff a bit after they got home, then went to dennys and home.

and then my stomach exploded again. gah 2 times in 1 week.

good thing i went to the dr today. got a prescription again but i also have to go see a stomach specialist, and get a biopsy done or whatever happens when they stick a tube down your throat into your stomach. not til august though.

stopped at starbucks for a pomegranate frap, which wasn’t as good as i had hoped for. but i got a new book about the cold war. *dork*

tonight brought jeff martin at thursday in the square. adr and i headed down around 5, and found joe r. right up front. so joined him and watched burning paris. joe and i were both like, why do we know them? they were all in other bands we had seen before. haha. then jeff martin. i can’t say i’m too enthusiastic about his new stuff. i like dark and moody jeff martin of the tea party, not married father happy jeff martin. of all the tea party songs to do, they did “the messenger” barf. “turn the lamp down low” was good tho. and it turns out, i knew the keyboardist.

my favourite crappy band from the casino featured this really cute guy, but they still did bad versions of u2 songs among the other covers they did. they’d always play on sunday nights. recently i saw them and noticed cute guy was gone. that’s a shame. well cute guy is now the keyboardist for jeff martin. that’s quite a step up! congrats hahaha

so after the square we went to ihop for food before meeting adr2 and bliss at club diablo. ran into paul there, as well as the photographer i spent sunday with at the terminal. there really wasn’t anyone else there, and we totally took over the juke box. tons of nin. it turned into reminiscing night, and we had way more fun that we probably should have. had yummy drink that was basically malibu and pineapple juice, which i had been planning to order anyway. just big, and with a little devil hahah. so yeah. way too much fun.

going to try to get tuesday off to go see peaches in toronto. i got written up for my attendance, for my sick days without sick time. ppl keep thinking i called in to see trent, and i didn’t. i’ve actually been sick!