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i’m going to try to toilet train kitty with Citi Kitti hahah. hey it might be a waste of money or it might work and be absolutely fantastic. we shall see.

also, driving down elmwood today i saw THE BEST christmas present for ppl today…or well, really for the 1 person i still buy for. hey so adrienne, hahaha don’t go down elmwood and buy yourself anything when you’re home in dec :). i’m buying one for phill too, tho we don’t do the gift thing, just because it’s so freaking great. they were closed at the time, so i gotta go down tomorrow afternoon and grab 3 (one for myself of course). eric – you might like it too. i’ll tell you on IM or something hehehehe

there is someone who wants to take me to vegas for the superbowl in february. and he doesn’t seem to be kidding. while it would be great to get a free trip to see adr, why would i want to go to the superbowl with a bunch of 50some year old men? hahahahahahah

no hair cut – arg – postponed til wednesday. and really not sleeping well.

Posted in: Personal

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i had been waiting for the release of maynard james keenan’s tool/apc side project Puscifier for ages now. it comes out tuesday, i just remembered. but i am finding myself much more excited now for the new saul williams “niggy tardust” album. wow that name. i hate it. but the music should be interesting. as soon as trent posted about its internet only release for $5 i “preordered”. the album arrives for download on thursday.

my weekend was spent doing absolutely nothing. no lie. i slept in and had no desire to get out of bed either day. then just sat here until work. saturday morning after work was the last day with any pills, making today the first full day with 0 in my system. it actually went pretty well. we’ll see about the next few days. overall i think this withdrawal period was much better than the last time i attempted this – close to 3 years ago. there is a difference in my sleep, but it’s not as bad as last time. i’m getting some nightmares that i can’t wake myself out of which sorta suck…it’s taking ages to fall asleep again. i’m waking up alot and moving around alot. but at least i’m not waking up because i think i’m falling and terrified that someone is in the room and going to kill me, not waking up every hour on the hour, and being unable to sleep past 8am. the immediate few days after dropping the dosages i would physically feel like crap. not headaches so much as abdomen discomfort. not stomach aches, no digestive issues, just…general unwellness. i am dizzy alot, and get this weird feeling like my brain/soul is moving inside me when i am not. i am also hungry CONSTANTLY. i don’t remember that last time. in fact, last time i remember hardly being able to eat because i was nauseated all the time. now that i’m at 0 dosage i’m hoping this last bout of withdrawal is short, and that i start feeling better. the reason i started taking it again after the last attempt is because after almost 2 months with out any of the drug i was still feeling absolutely horrible all the time. this time, i don’t have any left to start taking them again, and at this point if my headaches don’t come roaring back i see no reason to go back to the dr to get more (or to get a different drug for my headaches). maybe i’ve finally “grown out of it”. only took 27 years 😛

and unfortunately i’ve had to turn the heat on. it was 57 in here when i got home tonight. arg. i finally get my hair cut tomorrow, as long as my hair lady’s daughter doesn’t go into labor. please just hold on 9 more hours!! haha.

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we rock

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this afternoon adr2 and i finally went to do our halloween portraits at walmart, as ghosts. we got there, and there was a guy in training. well isn’t this fun for his first day. hahah we were like, yeah, we’re retards, and we want pictures as ghosts. the lady training kept trying to get us to do normal shots too, we looked like bums, cuz hey, we were under sheets so no, no regular shots. so they did 6 or so poses, us alone, us together, props…hahah. it was ridiculous. so fabulous. hahaha so we get them back in a few weeks. we are so fantastic haha

 

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

hockey music

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an amusing feature on sabres.com this year is Game Playlists…they offer you to buy through itunes the songs that are played at the arena during the game, including songs that were picked by a certain player each game. it’s interesting to see what the various players like (they have sucky taste for the most part haha) and choose to be played. so far the best playlist has been ryan miller’s. nirvana, incubus, social distortion, the verve which he picked, then the other game songs were audioslave, soundgarden and finger eleven…not their usual fodder.

and speaking of games. i may have to work halloween now, if work didn’t give me off friday for the game…no big deal, it doesn’t appear that i’ll be doing anything on halloween anyway sadly.

kate is sick so can’t go to tori amos tonight. that means i don’t have to go now hah. sorry to her fans, but i’m excited about not going. 🙂 i also got my phone today so now i get to play with it, and watch the game. woo.

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

econoline

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found an article from the summer on econoline crush reforming. this quote made me excited (as if i wasn’t already excited) Trevor: “And in this scenario, its very much along the lines of songs like ‘Home’ and ‘Sparkle & Shine’ and very basic industrial rock kind of stuff. It’s not foreign to the Econoline Crush fan. It’s what we’re known for, melody over riffs.” and then this just made me laugh because it’s the same thing I always say when people bring up Econoline Crush’s rotating line up. Trevor: “Econoline Crush, in my opinion, is a musical project. It’s never been much of a band because we’ve always had so many different people come and go all the time that it’s just a concept. It’s the idea of putting riffs and strong, rock guitar-driven melodies with a vocal melody that almost contradicts it, that’s almost cutting across the grain, like smooth, melodic vocal over top of searing guitars. It’s not really hard to do if you don’t lose the plot. “I think maybe in the past we’ve kind of missed the plot when we’ve started writing and I just think I’ve always been the driving force of Econoline. People come and go from Nine Inch Nails all the time, but it’s always going to be Nine Inch Nails. Same deal.”

i think i’m going to go back to carl’s and have the guy who did my halo 14 tattoo add to it. i’ve been strugling to come up with something that would include the line “left with all that was and all that could have been” in a separate tat. so i’m going to have him do something up to add. my only concern is having retard nin fans go on about how “and all that could have been” isn’t halo 14. it’s also not the exact lyric from either “the great below” or “and all that could have been” so 😛

after such a shit day at work yesterday i left today after 3 hours. watching shows on big foot hunters, i remembered that adr2 thought she saw big foot on our way to philly for the 2 club shows in 05. ha.

elijah wood’s character kevin in Sin City looks a whole lot like harry potter. ha.

so ages ago, carolyn and i had a blog of our own funny quotes. been reading them and found this one
sara: capital G for emphasis on god
sara: lol
TRENT STOLE THE SONG TITLE FROM ME! hahahahahahhahahah

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mandy lynn, a girl on vh1’s show america’s most smartest model, is also in the new quest “dating” phone line commercials hahahah…hahah.ha.

withdrawal has been better. thurs and fri nights, for sure, had no withdrawal symptoms… no headaches, no vague body discomfort. i have big time sleeping disturbances, but it’s still tolerable at this point. so i lowered dosage again to 25 mg until i run out of pills (about another week). it’s been better this time than last time.

i’m switching phone services from at&t to verizon through letstalk.com. they had a better deal on the phone – lg black cherry chocolate – but i’m nervous. i have no idea about porting numbers, and if/when my current number on my current phone will stop working. i have to wait for the phone to arrive by mail of course, should be tuesday or wednesday. i warned my mom if my number doesn’t work to not panic haha. i got a stupid more expensive plan tho, that includes unlimited txt/pics/video to any carrier. i still don’t understand how adr2 gets all this extra shit on her plan for under 50$ lol. i really wanted the $29.99 65 years old plan, but stupid age requirements. not fair.

i really have nothing to say. 🙂

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aunt trudy is spending christmas with us. i’m excited. she’s by far my most interesting family member, and i didn’t get a chance to meet up with her when in europe.

 

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

withdrawal

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looking up withdrawal symptoms of elavil, and found out one of the side effects of taking the meds is breast enlargement. damnit why couldn’t i have gotten that side effect? lol

withdrawal is in full effect, and is just how i remembered it being from 3 years ago.

  • Side effects due to a rapid decrease in dose or abrupt withdrawal from Elavil include:
    Headache, nausea, vague feeling of bodily discomfort
  • Side effects due to gradual dosage reduction may include:
    Dream and sleep disturbances, irritability, restlessness

we’ll see how sleep is tonight. i think it should be fine for a few more days but we’ll see. i’m not shaking yet, so that’s good.

in other news, russell and i had a moment of sheer panic at the terminal today. we were in the concourse when we heard loud “things collapsing” noises coming from the restaurant. we just looked at each other – as there was an architecture class in the building with our architecture firm – and bolted to the restaurant. fearing the worst, we found it was just some of the wooden shit left over from ghost train that fell over. our architect looked panicked too haha. it really really sounded horrible, and exactly like what it would have sounded like if it had been the ceiling as we feared. *phew*

Posted in: Personal \ Tagged:

elavil is the devil

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2 more deer just ran by my window. they’re doing it about every day now. where do deer sleep? you never go walking through the woods and stumble upon some sleeping deer. they’re always just there running around, running into cars, etc. i think it’s sort of weird…

oh god, kitty just dumped a box of styrofome nuggets…

mood update: so i’ve been off the zoloft for about a month now. i feel about the same. definitely no worse. more intolerant and impatient if that is possible. i don’t think i went through any withdrawal from it, at least that i noticed.

now is a different story though. it seems i’m going to be forced to stop the elavil as well. because i’m almost out of it, i have no more refills, the doctor will not refill it over the phone unless i make an appointment, and i can’t make an appointment because she has about 3 office hours a week, and when i call no one is ever there. so i’ve dropped down to 50mg to conserve what i have left, in the hope that i can get a hold of her (tho even if/when i do it’s typically over a month til i can get in there). i’ll have to drop to 25mg by the weekend probably. the last time i tried to go off of it, 3 years ago, it didn’t go so well. even tho i weened myself off as i was supposed to, i felt like physical shit all the time (tho oddly no increase in headaches, which is why i take the damn meds to begin with), and i completely stopped sleeping. maybe my mom can call and call and call and get through to get me an appointment…cuz once i run out, forget it, i’m not going to even bother going in to get refills. i hate going to that office anyway because her receptionist (who i think is her mother or in-law) is a complete rude bitch and i dread having to deal with her.

inspired by s photo posting, i think i’m gonna see if my dad can dig up some old polaroid stuff lying around the basement. i know he has at least 4 cams, but i don’t know if they’ll take any film that is available anymore. i know we looked at them a few years ago and he thought most wouldn’t be usable.

and thank you chris bryan mccabe 🙂

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i am now 100% vested in my 401k account. does that make me an adult now?

i got tickets for me and kate to see jon davis solo and acoustic at turning stone on nov 10th. now i just need the day off. it’ll be an interesting show, i didn’t feel like i could really pass it up.

tonight at work i watched baseball. of course, i wasn’t on a table that could see the tv when the sabres kicked washingtons ass (seriously if this keeps up spacek is gonna have a 50 goal season LOL i take back all the bad things i said about him last year), but i was moved after that game, to directly in front of the tv, and so i had to watch baseball. dear god baseball is so boring. you wait and wait and wait and nothing ever happens. i was praying for it to end quickly, but no, 11 innings…fantastic. the top of the 11th was the only interesting part of the entire 3 and a half hours that i got to see.

i desperately need to clean my house tomorrow

 

Posted in: Personal