i return to the only place i’ve ever felt that i belong….

alright, home. how depressing. now where did i leave off?

friday: went and got adr2 at the airport. we were late, the family running around trying to get ready for their own departure from ohare a few hours later. it was ok though, cuz she was lost anyway haha. went to the apartment and then shopping. it was a crummy day, drizzly and grey and cold. we’d either sit in drizzle at the show, or shop in it, so we shopped. went back to uncle fun again – bought more stuff i didn’t see the day before, like a huge pirate flag! hehe. and i got the best, pin ever – so niagara falls – it’s a drawing of a steel barrel with a skull and cross bones on it LOL. i finally got a pair of roos too. navy blue and pink, i like em. back to the apartment to get un-yuckified from the rain, then out in terrible traffic to the arena. didn’t get their til the doors were about to open.

friday’s show: we ended up 1 back from the barrier on aaron’s side again. we were behind 2 bigger guys, who were great for providing padding during the show haha. autolux played first. they were alright. they make alot of noise for just 3 people. it’s sorta art metal i guess. it was ok. then queens of the stone age. completely unenjoyable. the singer looks like anthony michael hall all grown up. he does this elvis type dance thing when playing guitar. it’s strange. and i don’t like them. and i still don’t like them after seeing them 3 times. 6 more times to go…

nin opened behind a sorta mesh sheet, starting with pinion into love is not enough. quite cool. love that their opening with that.

the setlist was the same for all 3 shows, because of the new drummer. his name is Alex something or another, he’s from australia. the chicago show was his first show. we figure as more time goes by, and he learns the other songs, the set will change up. and jerome is supposed to come back next month i guess.

1. Pinion
2. Love Is Not Enough
3. Wish
4. Terrible Lie
5. The
Line Begins to Blur
6. March of the Pigs
7. The Frail
8. The
Wretched
9. Closer
10. Burn
11. Gave Up
12. Eraser
13. Right
Where It Belongs
14. Beside You In Time
15. Sin
16. Only
17.
Reptile
18. Suck
19. Hurt
20. The Hand That Feeds
21. Head Like
A Hole

beginning with eraser, the sheet comes down around the stage again, and a projector plays a big montage of nature clips, monkeys, bugs, george w bush, onto the screen. eraser is so cool, very powerful. once eraser is done pummeling you right where it belongs provides a break, much like the la mer/the great below section of the fragile show. besides you in time is going to give me a seizure at some point, but it was cool. they do the end a bit different, and made it a better song imo (not my fav song, probably least fav nin song ever). and then..friggen only!!!!! i just about died. no one even recognized it at first. but holy crap it’s such an awesome song to go nuts to live. screaming the chorus is one of the most cathartic things ever. loved it. so dancy and wonderful.

the sound was kinda weird, but dunno what was wrong. sin, and reptile just sounded not right. they sounded much better the following 2 nights. i thought maybe it was like u2 in boston, up front things just dont sound right in an arena, but up front again in cleveland sounded fine. dunno.

shared a cab with 2 guys back downtown, who were in love with depeche mode. and they gave me 35$ for the cab ride, so we only ended up having to pay 15$ nice!

saturday: adr2 flew back home, and i flew to detroit. waiting at midway i had the most disgusting bagel in the world. i swear it was made out of rubber. barf. this kid came into the C line wearing a nin shirt. so i stared at him until he looked at me, and asked if he went to the show. he hadn’t, but he was going to detroit for that show. ended up sitting with him on the plane, which was cool. we had the nin row haha. no one else sat with us we were so scary and intimidating hahaha. his name was caleb and he was from minneapolis. once in detroit, i got luggage and went to get my rental car. blahblahblah the lady says i have the smallest car they have, cuz i wanted cheap economy car. i go to get the actual vehicle and…it’s some sort of minivan/suv thing. so i go back inside and inline and tell them i think something was wrong cuz it was a minivan. they said it wasn’t a minivan. either way i said, the said SMALLEST CAR AVAILABLE and it was a truck! so they give me the car next to it instead, which was a FORD EXPLORER. what about “smallest car available” did they not understand. it wasn’t that i didn’t WANT the first suv/van thing, it’s that they said small car, and that was not a small car. whatever. so i had an explorer. i dont know how to drive a friggen suv! i managed tho. got a hotel near the airport, then drove around and found a walmart. my belt that had been breaking, did finally break completely, when security made me take it off at the airport. without beating myself up i had THE MOST FIGHT CLUB moment EVER at the hotel. went to open up my suitcase and something was making a noise inside. my electric toothbrush had turned on. hahahahah. took a nap at the hotel, and planned on going up to the venue late so that i didn’t have to see the openers again. ended up getting their before doors opened anyway. super.

saturday’s show: didn’t feel like going up front, so i hung back at the sound board for the whole show. froze my ass off since i wasn’t upfront haha. openers were the same eh as chicago. queens seemed slightly more tolerable, but i think that’s cuz i kept spacing out and forgetting i was even there. nin’s set was the same as chicago, as i said, but the crowd was way way better. everyone was super into it, singing along, trent actually would stop singing so the audience could. he didn’t say a word in chicago, but he talked in detroit. said thanks alot, then after hurt he said something like: i just want to say something. i don’t do this because i don’t like to talk about it. i just kinda got caught up in the song. 4 years ago i never thought i’d be on stage again in front of a great audience, so thank you. he went on to thank the new drummer, and the openers. it was cute :). now enter the stupidest girl ever. as i said, during the middle of the show a video gets projected on the sheet around the stage. and at one point they show george w bush dancing with his wife. everyone usually starts flipping him off. this girl behind me goes, in the whinest voice ever “they’re all flipping off the president, why?” omg. hahaha

after the show, was stuck in the joe louis parking ramp for an hour. and i just want to say joe louis arena is super small for an NHL team like the red wings…i also did the stupidest thing ever. this lady was trying to switch lanes, as if either one was moving, so she was sorta between lanes and kept trying to get in front of me but i wouldn’t let her. i was bigger! finally she beeped the horn so i’d look at her, asked if she could get in front of me, and i said no. then i remembered I’M IN DETROIT SHE COULD SHOOT ME!

left detroit early sunday to drive to cleveland, which did not take me 3 hours. if you think buffalo radio is bad, try finding a station between detroit and cleveland. barf. gave the car back, and waited for adr2 and bliss to come pick me up. once they did, we had nothing really to do. it was blah and cold again, so we weren’t going to sit in line. went to the arena to see if we could pick up our tickets yet (couldn’t) and ran into none other than caleb from the airplane. he had remembered that i said i was driving down to cleveland, and so he rented a car and did the same hahah. went into the building with him to find the box office so he could get a ticket, and nin was sound checking love is not enough. pretty cool.

sunday’s show: drove around cleveland to waste time, went to a starbucks, then finally back to the arena around 6. there were 2 cool girls behind us in line that we talked to. after reno, this city had the coolest people in line haha. we had gone at doors open so bliss could see autolux. bliss decided we could go up front, so we did, 2nd back from barrier on aaron’s side….again. haha openers, the same. the show was great again. aside from the girl humping me at the beginning of the show, and the one time i got slammed into bliss, we didn’t get touched at all. no pushing, no being smooshed up against everyone. you could breathe and move and dance around and whatever. it was great, and a great break in show for bliss. same set list, except during right beside you in time the movie projection stopped. once the song finished, trent asked if the fuckers in back fixed the projector or if they were just going to move on with the set. and they did, skipping beside you in time. he told them he was going to kick their asses hahaha. reptile in cleveland was incredible. when it started, it just slamed into you, like woah. it was fantastic. and i am officially going to hell. sometime during autolux a little boy, around age 12 i’d say, and mom and a guy appeared up front to our right. well during queens he decided to try to get in front of me. he was doing it all stealth, as if i wouldn’t notice this little munchkin suddenly in front of me. so i look down and ask “where you going buddy”, he just looks up at me all angelic and smiling and i shake my head at him. so he stops, stands there, then later tells his people that i won’t let him by. he goes away, and ends up at barrier to the right of us. ok fine. if people want to give into a child, whatever, that’s their problem. but then, he tries it again. HE WAS AT BARRIER?!? WTF. this time he actually asked me if he could get in front of me, and i flat out said no. i’m mean to children.

great show. after, ran into caleb again and talked for a bit, then out to the car where we ran into the 2 girls behind us in line and talked to them to see how they liked the show. finally headed out back to buffalo. stopped at a gas station store, and 5 other cars of nin fans ended up coming in too hahah.

aside: 1. when did hurt become a make out song? in detroit there were like 4 couples around me who were all huggy and yuck during hurt. hello! have you LISTENED to the song? “i will let you down, i will make you hurt”, not really a good relationship song. 2. fangirl moment, the “trent bounce” is so friggen hot.

awesome awesome trip. so depressed now haha. few more weeks and we’ll do it again. bliss said she’s addicted now, and that we can go to boston. so gotta look into getting boston tickets. also need to find out when depeche mode is playing toronto and hope for no conflicts (dec 1st, a thursday, so going!). i so don’t want to be home, though i did enjoy my bed. not looking forward to unpacking, laundry, etc. gotta go get kitty from the parents.

today was running around. went out to see the toulouse-lautrec show at the art institute, which was cool, though i don’t really like his stuff. it is “classic”. so it was neat to see. there were alot of other artists in the show too, like degas and van gogh and picasso…it was all focused on the montmarte area of paris, where moulin rouge is.

did some shopping. got the most fabulous coat at H&M…you’re SO surprised aren’t you. i call it the british army pirate coat. it’s long wool, zips up, has decorations that remind me of bono’s admiral coat for the encore. but it’s all black. and it’s not a jacket. almost got another jacket too but i found the pirate coat so i just got that one. it was almost cold enough to wear it too. i might have to for the shows outside.

adr2 gets here tomorrow morning, and we’re all going to get her at ohare, cuz my aunt and uncle are actually now flying out of there a few hours later. so we get to be on our own to get to the apartment, do whatever we want, and get back to the area for the show. should be interesting haha.

waiting for u2 on conan now.

chicago

aloha. chicago is cool so far. went out for dinner with my aunt and 2 friends of hers from detroit. came back to the burbs after. going shopping tomorrow. adr2 arrives fri morning, and then the plan gets all screwy, cuz we’re gonna get her, go back to the suburb house, get my luggage, then train it back into chicago to the apartment. then we have the rest of the day on our own to either hang in the city or go to the venue. doors are at 6 apparently.

took kitty to the parent’s house before i left, and wow kitty was not handling it well. he was panting, tongue out, like a dog hyperventilating in the car. then was all freaked out and hiding in a corner of the basement and wouldn’t come out. 🙁 so i hope kitty is doing better.

nothing else to say i guess. oh! sabres won their opening game vs the islanders. yay!

VACATION! off to chicago. could be an update from there at my aunts house. if not, be back sunday night. feel free to txt me if you have my phone number.

🙁 i think i gave one of my favourite shirts to salvation army last week. 🙁 gonna see if i can stop there tomorrow and see if they’ve got it for sale. wah. i’m so upset.

fuck, make that 2 of my fav shirts. grrrrrrrr so pissed at myself.

GAH NO I REMEMBER. I TOOK THEM TO TORONTO FOR U2 SHOWS INCASE I NEEDED A CHANGE OF CLOTHING. i still don’t know where they are now, but i know they haven’t been sold at salvation army. will check my car tomorrow, if they’re not there, they must be in leighanne’s trunk.

got the extensions. they’re cool, but are hurting. i think i might take them out without anyone except ppl at work seeing them. i don’t think i can handle it with the way my head always hurts anyway. going to try to take some bad pics of myself now in the mirror.

*edit* yeah taking them out, i cant take the braids hurting my head. i currently look like i should be in a duran duran video. frizzy afro mullet. haha rock!

dream

so i had this dream last night. tommy and i were getting married. it seemed sorta spur of the moment, but it was planned. possibly that we decided with only a few months to plan. we were getting married at a mall it seemed, but there were no stores. the place was just set up like a mall, with a 2nd floor that had space in the middle of the walkways to look down on the first floor. i think i sorta looked like the corpse bride. anyway. i was immensely unhappy about it. people started arriving, and i was walking around wanting to call it off. but i felt bad that i’d disappoint all the guests. but then i talked to someone i guess was my mom that i didn’t want to get married, and she told me to call it off, that tommy was walking around in the hall. so i went to go find him and i guess i told him i didn’t want to get married. don’t really remember what happened after that. but we didn’t get married that’s for sure.

i have just completed my first 40 hour week this summer, if not the entire year. i forced myself to do it. it was tough yesterday and today to not leave early, but i made it. we’ll see how my paycheck compares to my supervising pay checks. i really wanted to come home and keep going through my pictures today. i realize that i really need film. i’m going to have to try to make it out to color tech to buy some, as it’s the only place that sells my TMAX!!! film around here. the overpriced camera shop that was near me closed a few months ago.

i gotta dye the hair back to black tomorrow, so if/when i get the extensions tues they match. i haven’t seen the girl all weekend to get her address and stuff, so hopefully i see her at work tomorrow. or i’ll just have my short hair. blah. and laundry.

one thing that exploring today kept reminding me of was the book “atlas shrugged”. i finally finished it last week. i had only been reading it since march. overall i really liked it. there are times when it got way too repetitive, as did “fountainhead”, with ayn rand’s philosophy. i actually had to skip almost an entire chapter towards the end – john galt’s speech – because i just couldn’t take it anymore. it was a frightening book in many ways. but i don’t really buy into her philosophy. the book was very anti communist in a way. ANYWAY. exploring reminded me of it because one chapter sends dagny and hank to the 21st century motor car factory – which had been closed and abandoned. they go through the factory looking for records, and find “the motor”. that’s what i kept thinking about today, there were lots of motors and machines around.

i’m now reading “catcher in the rye”. a classic apparently. and although i honestly am enjoying it, i don’t quite see the point as there is no plot. i don’t get why it’s such a classic, when it’s just a teenage boy telling stories. it’s as if my stupid meaningless random posts from 5 years of having a blog were condensed into a book. i’m half through and yeah, no plot. not getting the “classic”ness. whatever. i do like it.

i found out about a bar that i’d probably like in buffalo. club diablo. focuses on punk, goth and industrial. i’m totally gonna check it out. man i need friends to go out with me haha. from the small picture in the magazine i saw it in, it was reminiscent of lux in rochester which i thought was the coolest bar i’d ever been to. looks way more swanky and trendy than the continental. the cont is such a dive haha. and apparently from their website, clubldiablo.com, ron jeremy hangs out there when he’s in town. lovely. i decided i MUST go there, because they have a specialty drink called jim jones kool-aid hahaha that thrills me. no cover on wednesdays, specializing in synthpop and ebm. adr2, you are SO going with me when we get back from vacation.

i feel like i have lot to do in the next 2 and a half days, but i’m sure i’ll sit here all day tomorrow and play snood.

new location

david from forgottendetroit.com was in town for the weekend, and we headed out to carbo-sil in niagara falls today. i hadn’t paid much attention to the place before yesterday, then realized, hey, i should go there! very cool place. very easy to access. alot of abandoned vehicles in there, including a school bus. and lots and lots of barrels of crap. it’s so niagara falls hahaha. i wasn’t too fond of some of the “mud” we had to walk in. but my shoes haven’t melted yet. it’s a strange place. it’s pretty when you are there, but just looking at my digital thumbnails, it doesn’t photograph well. and digital sucks. i took 2 rolls of real film, but probably won’t get them developed til i get back from vacation.

in one of the buildings, which appeared to possibly have been used as a mechanic office at some point, had a big shelving unit full of bags of rocks. labled samples, with the location they’re from. sometimes bigger rocks, sometimes more gravel like, and some really fine material maybe not rock. didn’t want to touch them too much though. there was also a 45 of a madonna song “stay” which i’m not sure i ever heard.

across the street from carbo-sil is globe, possibly one of the most beautiful factories i’ve ever seen. i think it’s still in use though, so no attempt was made to check it out closer. i’d love to. at olin yesterday security came immediately and weren’t all that happy with me taking pictures. i don’t think they understood why anyone would want to do such a thing. you know, except terrorists taking pictures of chemical plants to bomb or something. they kept asking me who i worked for, MYSELF AND MY OWN ENJOYMENT thanks. all i was doing was walking down the sidewalk in front haha.