well today i was a tiny bit psychic.

i didn’t mention it before, but i had been thinking about writing to nate. to fill him in on all my dealings with bct, since he was with me the first time i laid eyes on the building. if he’s home for the holidays, i’d really like to take him inside with me. just kinda…close up some more loose ends with him. so there’s psychic incident number one.

incident number two. on the bus to work i was thinking about how i’d like to see john. how he’s never around even if i go in early. i thought it would be really nice to run into him on his way out and my way in. and i did. literally almost ran into him. it was really nice to see him. i miss him. he asked about the fundraiser, and he wants to buy some of my photos. which means alot to me, that he likes them. yeah. i miss him. i know, i already said that. i forget about all of it when i never see him. then i see him, and the way he acts, and how he looks at me, and it’s just…i dunno. gah.

work was fine. jenn didn’t want roulette so i gladly took it. made an awesome tip, cuz a guy put me in the game for 5$ straight up on 17 and i hit it. 175$ into the tip box. haha. nights like that i wish we kept our own tips. every other night when i make 10$ i thank god we share tips haha.

anyway. i’m so tired. there are plans to go to lockport tomorrow, depending on weather. i have so much i need to do…go food shopping for one. post office run. color tech run. clean this place. stop at the parents for nates letter, some spoons, and to feed ziggy. i want to go to the central library, since i didn’t go today. and i need to take a roll of b&w film for tuesday. so lockport would be good for that. ug. guess we’ll see how the weather is in the morning. i don’t know where i’m supposed to meet brian and james anyway.

 

well…the letter from nate wasn’t awful. actually it was pretty nice. things with the girl he was fucking went south. good. but his letter actually was pretty deep. not just more superficial, i’m in africa, it’s hot, don’t wish you were here crap. he went into how he’s forgotten about home, how his memories of it are fuzzy, how he doesn’t recognize his own family in the photos his parents send him. how he doesn’t know what he’s going to do when he leaves in 16 months, stuff like that. seems he’s maturing, which i’m glad. hopefully it’ll put alot of things into perspective for him.

and he did really buy a camel.

so i guess i’ll write back to him later.

brian called at 12:30 but it was pouring here so i nixed going. he was still going to attempt it. did my grocery shopping but still have no food. i don’t buy meat or anything, i buy…crap. but i bought veggies again so. went out to color tech to get my film, gonna work on scanning that now. i forgot what else was on my list to do today, oh well. i’m really tired.

 

i forgot to mention this. there was a photo at the historical society that thrilled me to no end, cuz i’m a big giant dork. we all know my fascination and love of war propaganda posters (i’m still waiting for iraq ones to come out )…there was a picture of the terminal concourse, taken from the buffalo end, towards the clock. at the end, above the ticket counters was a big poster saying that “defense also starts at home”. gaaaaaaaah. i’m almost willing to pay the exorbitant amount that the historical society wants for photo reproductions for that picture. hahah.