it snowed more. not too much more, but more. southtowns got hit enough to have snow days already. not so much up here, but still…snow! i love snow when it first falls, and then the sun comes out the next day and cars drive on it and it gets gross. i think it’s time to bust out the actual real winter coat.

went to nate’s house in the afternoon, 3:30ish. the drive took forever because people are idiots. you live in buffalo, learn how to drive in the snow. you could see the pavement and i was behind someone going 25 in a 45. come on now people. anyway. helped nate pack – he’s got way too much shit. he can only take 80 lbs – 70 in the big suitcase. we weighed it and it was 92. he opened it up and took more stuff out, but he claims to need everything he has packed right away. i know this is just me, but it seems like a football, soccer ball, and then 3 other little balls are a bit much…but then i’m not athletic. shoes weigh too much too, but you kinda need those. so anyway. he’s got issues with the packing, because now he has to take a 2nd carryon and he doesn’t want to. crap like that. so he’s stressing out about that. took him to target to buy sheets because the ones he bought were the wrong kind, and then took him back home.

while it’s obvious i’ve been preparing myself for his departure since…well since the day we met…it still didn’t really hit me until last night. i’ve been upset most of the week, i’ve been trying to deal with this since we started dating…all that crap. but last night it hit me that today would be the last time we hung out…the last time i get to hug him…etc etc etc. so all day i kept thinking..this is the last time *fill in the blank here*…when i took him home after the store, i started crying…it was inevitable. i’m surprised i lasted that long, with helping him pack and everything – making things final. but yeah. he got a bit emotional himself, which i think surprised him a little.

i’m not upset anymore. i’m not upset about what i had been, at least. i’m just sad now. sad that he’s leaving, sad that i won’t get to see him for who knows how long. i know i’ll be fine. i could even be fine tomorrow. i might not be out trying to find someone new, but i’ll be fine. it’s not going to be as bad as i was anticipating i don’t think. we’ll see of course. all i know is that if my mom gets on my case right away with her “you can’t make yourself sick over nate leaving” i’ll smack her. give me a few days for christs sake.

so i have to get up at 5:15 ish tomorrow. his mom and dad are both going, but in seperate cars so they can go to work. they said they’re going to try to leave at 6, but nate wants to leave earlier. so i figure i’ll get up extra early, so that when he calls to say they’re leaving i’ll be ready. who knows what the weather is going to be like. more bands of lake effect snow are predicted (you can see them if you look outside, it’s way cool). i get to veg the rest of the night. i bought him a card, it’s stupid… they were all stupid (all 5 of them)…so i have to write that out. yeah.