gah. my bed/mattress makes me hurt so bad. pain. ug. i didn’t want to get out of bed tho – despite the headache, neck ache, shoulder ache…i feel like going back to bed now. just cuz i have nothing else to do. lol. i was reading the godfather last night cuz i had nothing to do, and kept falling asleep. it was like 8:30 (it was the wine’s fault). even tho i knew i shouldn’t give in and let myself fall asleep i did. and i didn’t want to wake up again. i made it to 10 which i thought was an acceptible time to go to bed. read some more, of course didn’t fall asleep anymore. didn’t fall asleep til after 12 sometime. but i’d been in bed for about 13 hours, which is why i hurt. but i’m going to go back to bed anyway lol.

all i have to do today before work is call the health insurance thing and find out why i don’t have prescription coverage. i should just do it now and get it over with, but i don’t feel like it. woah i had weird dreams last night that my dad became a drug dealer. we had all kinds of drugs in my house – esctacy, cocaine, heroin…and he wanted me to test them to make sure they were pure. we had these chemical things that you drop into the drugs and if they turn a certain color they’re good. nate was here, and i had to keep hiding it all from him so that he didn’t know we were into drugs. my mom and i kept going upstairs with the drugs to test them, but then he’d appear so we’d quick hide it all or make an excuse as to what we were doing, then go somewhere else where he’s show up again. i was scared he wouldn’t like me anymore if he knew we sold drugs. haha.

k so, straightened out the insurance thing. they added prescription coverage onto my account again, but it’s mail order drugs again, which is annoying as hell.

i feel like crap. like physically, not emotionally this time. i didn’t go back to bed, i ended up talking to fishy, carolyn and cyndi all morning. cyndi cracks me up hardcore. so i was able to keep myself occupied and not fall into my newly normal monday depression. but i feel like crap. my head hurts, and i felt really sick after my shower. yeah, head hurts. ug.

omg my mom scared the SHIT out of me when i got home from work 15 min ago. i had to ring the doorbell, before she’s even there she’s like “you gotta call nate, he’s called a few times. he’s leaving.” i’m like “WHAT!?!?!?!?” thinking she means his peace corps date got moved or something. i’m like “WHY DIDNT YOU HAVE HIM CALL ME AT WORK!” she’s like “i told him you were at work” then she says he’s leaving on a business trip, which made me panic only slightly less. still panicking (how do u spell that?), since my parents leave thursday, and yeah…that whole thing. only have been looking forward to this forever…i’m like omg if he is going to be gone all week i’m gonna shoot someone. lol. he’s going to be in elmira, down near pennsylvania until thursday afternoon. then i work thursday night, so won’t see/talk to him til friday. we’ll see how this goes…lol. he hates his job. he’s not looking forward to going down there tomorrow, is hoping for his own hotel room (which i burst his bubble telling him there’s not much of a chance he’s going to get one), doesn’t like the people, doesn’t like what he has to do, doesn’t like the hours, doesn’t like being tired…he’s going to give it a week or two, and if he hates it, try to find his 4th job of the summer. they wanted him to go to north dakota next week but he said no.

anyway…my night at work. it was weird. i sorta bonded through girl talk with the wacko insane server chick. she was all giddy and happy, so of course i had to ask why. cuz she’s falling in love with this guy, whatever. so she went on and on to me about it, about him, and how she doesnt want to get hurt blah blah blah, how sex is so meaningful to her, and she wants to have sex with him, but doesn’t want to get hurt again blah blah blah etc etc etc. then she was asking me about nate, cuz she didn’t know for sure if me and nate were dating, so she asked about that and what i’m going to do when he leaves. blah made me sad. then she inquired about the size of nate’s penis LOL. but anyway. talked with her for a while, and she was like “i feel so much better having told you blah blah blah” i’m like yeah, ok. then mgr tried bonding with me…same way psycho server did, by asking me what i’m going to do when nate leaves. i’m like thanks. i’m like, everyone asks me, and i tell them the same thing “not thinking about it.” so she appologized for asking me, and i’m like no it’s ok haha. molly asked me right in front of nate at the bar the other night, when adr and eric came with us after work.

besides that, there is this new server at work. he worked there in retail before, went to europe for the summer, and just came back but wanted to be a server. so he just started again this week. i dunno how to take him. first off, i’m not sure if he’s straight. does that sound familiar? cuz i’ve thought that about almost everyone who works there lol. but yeah, he’s sorta fem. he’s super nice, and friendly, so it makes it easier for me to be friendly back. but he is WAY too touchy feely. saturday night when nate and i were working, he came over and was talking to us. then he went to walk away and totally rubbed up against me, for no reason. there was no one standing around so that he had to squeeze between me and whoever. he just rubbed against me. so i’m like well then, he just rubbed against me for no reason. lol. then today, he came over and was leaning against me, then later i was talking to the retail girl and he came to talk to us, and was standing way too close to me, so that our arms were touching. for no reason. i’m like ok, what is the deal here. then he kept profusly thanking me for cleaning his tables off when we were busy. he did it at least 5 times. i’m like really, it’s no problem. he thanked me AGAIN before i left, and said if he was getting tips that night (he’s not cuz he’s still training) he’d give me money, thanks for doing it blah blah blah. i’m like yeah. I SAID NO PROBLEM! lol. so it’s weird. nate thinks he’s overcompensating for being gay by trying to get in the pants of every female he meets….sounds familiar, i told him the same thing about his friend we hung out with the other night. nate didn’t believe me about his friend, but he thinks this kid is doing it. lol. whatever.

i guess that’s it. no idea what i’m going to do with myself tomorrow. i have to redesign cyndi’s website, so probably tackle that…maybe work on the flash some more.