vacant enigma: Extremely rare Canada Ouija Board hahahah
EatsTooMuchJam1: did you just make that up?
vacant enigma: no
EatsTooMuchJam1: What’s it from?
vacant enigma: ebay
EatsTooMuchJam1: Nice.
EatsTooMuchJam1: What’s the difference?
vacant enigma: nothing LOL
vacant enigma: looks exactly the same but they claim its extremely rare
vacant enigma: dunno why
EatsTooMuchJam1: Canadian ghosts possess it.
vacant enigma: scary
EatsTooMuchJam1: All of its answers end with “eh”
vacant enigma: alanis morisette would start haunting me
EatsTooMuchJam1: The board would only say “isn’t it ironic?”

and now, sky mall…

i love flying, and one of my favourite parts of flying – as long time readers know – is the sky mall catalog. this time, it was the christmas edition!! i figured it would be absolutely chock full of useless gadgets for sale just in time for the holidays. it was sadly disappointing, but it did have a few things to mention…

never-lose-another-golf-ball putter: a customer favourite for golfers, this putter is the easiet to practice with because it eliminates scrambling after practice putts – thanks to the attached reel you can simply wind in the ball after each shot. the putter is an authentic regulation 32″ club with rubber grip, and the reel is a quality spincast model that holds a 10lb test line attached to a regulation size golf ball. the line is so thin it doesn’t impede the ball. in a hammacher schlemmer exclusive design, the reel on our putter has a metal housing.

ok maybe it’s a typo, or i dont know enough about fishing reels, but i’d say something that holds 10 lbs of test line is pretty heavy and would affect the way you putt. but whatever. not too funny of a description but the picture is great. it’s a combo fishing rod golf putter. it’s really someone who got bored and hooked up a ball to their fishing rod. clever. stupid looking.

gravity-defying boots: these boots have a patented t-spring system that transforms walking, jumping, or running into an exhilarating bounce that builds balance, burns calories, and strengthens muscles. the boots buckle over athletic shoes and can be used by children and adults alike. gentle on joints and bones, the boots have a high-traction, non-marking tread for use indoors or out. for use on dry, flat surfaces while wearing appropriate saftey gear (not included).

again – not an interesting description, but i really need a flat bed scanner, the picture is incredible. maybe i can find one online. just think, the hard outter skeleton of roller blades attached to the bottom of a small tire. AHA, photo, check these things out

i’m mentioning this cuz i thought it was way cool and i want both of them
the csi young investigator’s forensic/dna kits: these official forensic/dna kits contain 22 realistic experiments that allow your child to crack two different mysteries in the style of the investigators on the popular television series. Children learn the basics of forensic science as they dust for fingerprints, extract dna, analyze inks and synthetic blood, and evaluate hair samples under a microscope. clear step by step instructions are written as if the child were taking part in the investigation, analyzing clues alongside the csi team members. ages 10 and up. forensic lab kit includes 200x zoom microscope, 24 plastic slides, light table, vials, beakers, and more to perform 12 experiments. dna lab kit includes miniature centrifuge, electrophoresis chamber, beakers, chromatography ring, lab glasses, and more equipment to examine dna code (dna samples and instructions are included). 59.99 each


lasting reminders that miracles still happen: a quarter of a century after the fact, the “miracle on ice” remains a shining moment in sports. our 16″ x 20″ photo is autographed by the late coach herb brooks and all 20 members of this historic team including neil broten, dave christian, jim craig, mike eruzione, mark johnson, ken morrow, mark pavelich, dave silk, and more. professionally matted and framed to archival quality with a certificate of authenticity. quantities limited. allow two weeks for deliver. also available, an individual autographed color photo of jim craig or mike eruzione from the 1980 olympic’s gold medal USA hockey team. matted and framed with a certificate of authenticity.
Autographed “miracle on ice” photograph 799.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
16″x20″ jim craig autograph and photograph 220!!!!
8″x10″ autographed mike eruzion photograph 220!!!

relax the mind, body and senses with the soothing effects of this wonder: a revolutionary ultrasonic water atomizer and humidifier that cleans and moistens the air. a water fountain and a multi-colored light. a modern glass bowl supported by an upper steel support and mahogany wood base. it is quite simply the most amazing combination of nature and technology

lol i’m sure it is. the picture makes it look STUNNING hahahaha.

also something else i want
name that tune: frankie went to hollywood. the bangles walked like egyptians and cyndi lauper just wanted to have fun. relive the 80s and take a walk down musical memory lane with the Name That Tune DVD board game – the 80s edition. here’s your chance to play the classic game show at home, complete with all the original video clips of your favourite 80s pop icons. so break out the shoulder pads and skinny ties, and put your 80s music and video knowledge to the ultimate test. can you name that tune in one note? 39.99.

carry the holy bible in your pocket: now you can enjoy the scriptures any time you want with this remarkable USB holy bible. the complete bible is contained in a fixed memory test file format that you can easily access through your computer or notebook’s usb port. small enough to put on your key chain, the usb holy bible has a highly detailed leather look with gold lettering to make it an attractive and meaningful piece to carry with you.


collect your favourite limited edition president or historical talking figurine these unique talking action figures celebrate the life and times of george w bush, bill clinton, ronald reagan, john f kennedy, theodore roosevelt, abraham lincoln and many more. each detailed 12.5″ figure is dressed in hand-tailored clothing with realistic accessories. push the button and hear an actual recording of their voices (except for Lincoln) – they come alive with 25 authentic phrases. historical figures include albert einstein, princess diana, benjamin franklin, pope john paul II and many others. each arrives in a special “cabinet” collector’s box with stand. comes complete with a biographical pamphlet, historical timeline and individually numbered certificate of authenticity. *edit* looking at for photos, apparently they don’t consider grant, eisenhower, wilson, andrew jackson, and truman presidents, because they are only listed as historical figures – along with jesus, moses, and Ah-nold.

i’m so excited that my hair looks nice without having to do anything to it…no products, no hair drying, no curling iron…and it looks nice.

omg i just found out the best gossip haha…my neighbor left his wife and children 3 months ago. i mean, that’s awful…cuz it is…it’s surprising too. hmmm

so last night we had our computer test. had to write out procedures and stuff…but we had the computer in front of us?!?!…so that was a whole 5 minutes of my life lost to stupidity. tonight we have another test, on definitions and procedures…and i don’t know what that means cuz the only thing we’ve learned is the computer stuff – haven’t done any of the casino operations stuff yet. so who knows what’ll be on this test (other than the definitions). not worried. i need to go look at my chip chart, since i don’t gamble, i don’t know what the colors mean lol.

working on a new layout. dunno if i’ll use it or not. but working on it.


cyndi sent this to me. i’ve seen it before, but it’s a good one…esp since i’m a psych major and everything. so i figured i’d post it:

Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and……
Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get me
Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder —Jingle Bells, jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells…

so had a test again tonight at training. had to sit there for the whole 3 hours while they went over the two tests with everyone and since some people failed, it took forever. yeah people failed. some failed yesterdays test, most failed todays test…i got a 97% on the computer test yesterday and 84% on today’s and i had the highest scores. they said i was their star pupil. IT’S NOT HARD!!!!!!!! but yeah, people failed today’s test….we get called tomorrow to see if we got the job. i think i’m on my way to a promotion already tho. haha.

who knows when this new layout will be done. trying to get my css to do what i want it to, and it won’t. i don’t know why. it’s right. but it won’t work. i’m not sure if i want to try to play with it more tonight or not – i have a massive headache, and i’m not sure if the frustration would be good. but i probably will since i have nothing else to do. the kid in training class asked me where i was gonna go out tonight… i was like um, yeah i’m not going out tonight. so then he asked where me and friends were gonna go out tomorrow, cuz i had mentioned danielle would be home, and i’m like um.. i don’t know haha. speaking of danielle, saw her brother driving home, talked to him through car windows. lol. all their cars are broken, so he was delivering pizza in the cable truck lol.

i’ve been pretty productive today so far. washed the car, washed sheets, washed myself haha, went to the bank, went to the grocery store to get pop and cherries, wrote out thank you cards, finally sent in my rebate for my cdrs. and now it’s too hot to do anything, so i’m checking my referral logs. they are so funny. so i present you, the good ones!
– “the turnstones buffalo band” – VELOUR!!!!!!!!!
– rofl someone actually searched for “Robin Meltzer pictures”!! that’s Rob, from London, who works for MJNI hahaha that is so funny
– “walmart pictures”
– “avril lavigne” 4 thousand times, i think i mentioned that i watched her video once
– lots of “kelly sex tape pics”
– “geneseo townhouse” – utoh, my site comes up alot in that search haha oops
– “kung fu hamsters” ROFL
– “janet jackson gay”
– “”nicholas butterworth” happened” – who the hell is that and why would my site come up?!?! – oh, i looked, he’s the CEO of mtv or something. quoted in some article i posted about.
– lots of “ozzy yelling sharon wav”
– ” “jennifer garner” vein forehead” – ?????
– “shrimping straw” – ROFLMAO
– “toilet slave” – that comes up from the last time i did this, but i still dont know my site would have come up at all in the first place
– “steph boob pop out+mpeg”
– “timmy bono”
– “i hate incubus”
– “ugliest font ever”
– “used trailer prices” – ROFLMAO
– “hemroid cures”
– “Kurt Cylke” – my sociology professor
– “diaper aunt cousin hand story erection”
– “shaq’s penis”
– “Tainted Donuts download” ?????


eric took me to the mall to buy my birthday gift. haha ended up getting the velcro letter shirt from target!! woo hoo. and a package of the window cling printer paper. i gotta glitterize the letter shirt, bedazzle it a bit maybe hehe. the shirt is sleeveless too!! so all good. then we went to andersons cuz i was starving.

i gotta study my hard rock stuff incase i get validated (tested) tomorrow when my shift is over. haha i have to study for my job.

i’m having this conversation with cyndi about dumbo. i don’t really remember dumbo really, except for the pink elephants. which i thought were super scary. and i realized some of the movies i find the scariest, creepiest movies are kids movies. first off, most if not all disney movies are really scary. i’ve never been a huge fan of disney so let’s think
lion king – scar (is that his name) kills mufasa…scar is one scary mofo…
little mermaid – whatever that octopus woman’s name was who stole ariels voice – scary.
dumbo – pink elephants – scary…dumbo getting drunk, that whole part
pinnochio – the misfits (that is the right movie correct?)
aladdin – jafar (cyndi said this…i’ve seen the movie a billion times, but i barely remember him at all)
sleeping beauty and snow white – just really scary… lol
alice in wonderland – i love this movie, but it’s a giant drug trip and it’s scary
peter pan – i had to watch that a bunch of times recently, and yeah it’s scary. peter is evil looking, and captain hook is evil, and yeah it’s scary.
beauty and the beast – the beast, nuff said lol
song of the south – ok i dunno if this one was scary cuz i don’t remember, but it was totally racist LOL
bambi – don’t remember it, but his mother was shot so… yeah scary.
and perhaps the scariest children’s movie i’ve seen… “willy wonka”… OMG IT’S SO FUCKING SCARY! esp the part with Wonka chanting on the riverboat…jesus christ. i saw it last year maybe on tv, and had totally forgotten about that part… after i was like HOLY SHIT that was scary. i think i posted the chant on my blog before…must find it again.

there we go…it’s scary just reading it, but in his possessed chant…

and another scary kids movie… Wizard of Oz… christ. scary. and the black remake, The Wiz…mega scary.

i so know i’m not insane. there was this movie i saw as a kid. the only thing i remember about it was this book, and there was a green head that came out of it. it was this evil book thing. that’s all i know…. WHAT MOVIE IS THIS! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!

MacFishto: The dark Crystal should have been banned…
Opal Tranquility: what was that?
MacFishto: that is the king of scarey
Opal Tranquility: i havent heard of that
MacFishto: OH good lord…it was this trippy muppet movie
Opal Tranquility: i remember some like, carebare movie, with some green head that came out of a book
Opal Tranquility: NO WAIT ITS THAT
MacFishto: from like 1980
Opal Tranquility: THE GREEN HEAD THING
Opal Tranquility: RIGHT?
MacFishto: um…
Opal Tranquility: lol or not
MacFishto: green headed thing?
Opal Tranquility: hahah nm
Opal Tranquility: no one ever knows what i’m talkign about, and i certainly dont
Opal Tranquility: i just know i saw some movie as a kid with this green head that came out of a book
MacFishto: no what are you talking about..can you remember anything lse about it
Opal Tranquility: nope
Opal Tranquility: except it may have been care bears
Opal Tranquility: lol



I AM NOT INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!

this, is a spectacular idea
blah blah blah u2 playing first arena show in the US in worcester mass. “When security came charging after one girl, Bono motioned them away, wrapped his arms around her, and waltzed with her around the lip of the stage. Then he continued singing while she slumped down and hung onto his leg. Eventually Bono came in from his emoting long enough to realize that she wasn’t just hugging him. She had chained herself to his ankle. And she did not have a key. The concert had to continue with Bono attached to the fan until the roadies could get a saw and chop her off.”


more funnies from the u2 book: the scene – u2 are invading england on a greenpeace boat because they were forbidden to go near this nuclear waste site on land.
“One woman present suggests to Bono that there’s an empty cabin available if he’d like to go lie down for a while. Thanks, Bono says, that would be great. She leads Bono in and stands there staring at him as he lies down on the cot. Bono is exhausted; he tries to ignore her. Then she says, “Aren’t you going to take off your pants?”
Er, Bono says, no, that’s ok. I’m fine. Thank you. Then she climbs onto the cot next to him. Gently but firmly Bono explains that the young woman upstairs with the brown hair is his wife. Ahhh. And maybe she’d like to take a nap with me, hmmm? That’s right, ok, thank you. The woman goes off to fetch Ali and Bono lies back, relieved. A couple of minutes later the door opens again, Ali comes in and lies down next to her husband. It is the first time the two of them have been alone together in ages, what with Bono on the road, and the weary couple try to make the best of this odd circumstance. As they begin to cuddle, though, Ali lets out a yelp. Their hostess is back and has climbed into bed with them. Well, Bono says, jumping up, let’s see what’s going on on deck.”
“Paul McGuinness watches them through binoculars. Then the manager turns his attention to a special project for the boys. Paul has with him the cover of the Beatles’ album Help with its photograph of the Fab Four waving navy signal flags. Paul has eight red flags and a booklet of instructions on how to spell out letters. He summons U2 to the top deck and lines them up and they begin learning to spell out first “H-E-L-P” and then “F-O-A-D” – a favourite expression of Larry’s that abbreviates “fuck off and die.”
Great rock band though they are, choreography has never been U2’s strong suit. They spend a lot of time getting their signals backward (they are following McGuinness, who is facing them, which gets confusing) and hitting eachother with flags. During the difficult “switch” from “H-E-L-P” to “F-O-A-D”, Adam pokes Bono in the eye. Eventually the entire exercise degenerates into a sword fight with semaphores.”

hahahah….after the greenpeace stuff….
“When the bus trip resumes, Bono and I head to the backseat. As we approach Manchester I say, “Well, of course, Bono, everybody must be asking you about all the references to oral sex in your new songs…”
“WHAT?” Bono sputters. “Bill, you’ve turned to the wrong page in your notebook, you’re asking me Prince questions!”
Listen, I say, to these lines from recent u2 songs: “surrounding me, going down on me,” “You can swallow or you can spit,” “here she comes, six and nine again,” “did i leave a bad taste in your mouth,”…
“Ahh.” Bono mumbles something about sixty-nine being one of the most equal sexual positions and then strongly suggests we get onto another subject.”


oh and the praise keeps coming in about the MPS site that was debuted yesterday – which i think is funny cuz there are some parts i’m not happy with, and i’d like to be different/better. but everyone that is involved in the MPS and the interference msgboard loves it, they think it’s amazing LOL. and yes, there is ALOT to it, and stuff, and i am proud of it cuz it is really complicated…i still think it could be better. but ah well. it’s done…..which is funny too, cuz i’ve still been working on it all day since i got home from work…stupid stories that have to be rewritten chapter by chapter for the site. hahah


if i had a band i’d cover billy idol’s “eyes without a face” lol. or rebel yell…some billy idol song.

i realized that sitting at my desk makes me feel like i’m dying. so i’m gonna try not to spend so much time at it anymore. of course, that’s not gonna happen. but my posture makes my tendonitis in my shoulder hurt, and that makes my whole chest hurt and i feel like i’m having a heart attack, and then my head feels weird – not a headache, but like there’s no circulation in it. and yeah. it makes me feel like shit to sit here. too bad like, my whole life revolves around my sites, and my friends that are online that i need to talk to…oh well.

i was talking to this woman at work today. she’s always been…out there. she’s not all there in the head, someone said she was an alcoholic and has this weird alcohol brain diesease… i forget what they called it. i don’t even know if it’s a real thing, but it made sense. but i think she’s schizophrenic. she started talking to me today about all kinds of persecutory things that happen to her.. her mail being tampered with, her car being tampered with, things being stolen from her, people using her phone to call Miss Cleo (lol), her daughters computer disks being erased, things that she’s personally taken to doctors – like referrals – being misplaced or tampered with… really paranoid kinds of things. and she talks to herself, and sometimes you’ll talk to her and she just WILL NOT hear you. it’s strange…and it’s really weird, cuz she was in the army, and she was a nurse – yet she’s working at mcdonalds, lives in the projects, is on welfare and gets food stamps. so something is not right. she should be able to get a nursing job, or something medical related. she seems really bright, when she’s being “normal” and not spaced out. she knows alot of stuff, and i can have conversations with her and she knows what i’m talking about….and rose, who is schizophrenic, she works at tops because she couldn’t hold down a job…she’s poor but not on welfare…lots of personal problems. alot like this woman at work…weird.

so i might have decided on a new career goal – advertising. and the web design thing… but i might go back to school for advertising or something. dunno.


i just got email from MJIFC – the michael jackson internet fan club…they’re shutting down. after 7 years. it’s kinda funny, and kinda not. i joined in early 96 i think, and i LOVED it. i finally felt like i could talk about stuff going on with me and being an MJ fan after 6 months of feeling really isolated in regards to it. i met so many great people through it (carolyn, amanda, sandy, emily, cyndi etc…others who i met later in #mjfans). but then it sorta exploded, and the old founders left, and it just got really shitty. it changed formats to digest only from seperate emails…and then there was the whole thing where they bounced a post i sent because it was too large – when it was actually a good post, and not some stupid 1 line piece of shit from some newbie…after that i unsubscribed, and went to news only so i could get info updates. it was a great thing back in the day, and it got out of hand. and now they’re shutting it down. end of an era… sorta goes hand in hand with where i am in regards to MJ now. interesting…i dunno what else to say about it. just felt like mentioning it.



Fab Four Quotes

“I’m not his sister, I’m just his bitch.” – Adrienne to the McDonalds worker

Eric: “What is beyond ass pants?”
Sara: “Sausage casing.”

“I have 8 dollars.” – Sara

“Inside voices!” – Danielle

“Oh, shit, border guards, act sober!” – Danielle

“That is so cool!” – Adrienne

“It’s all hairy now, my goo.” – Sara

“I have the incredible urge to lick the ceiling.” – Danielle

“What’s this? A rhino-se-saur?” – Adrienne

Sara: “I’m so dehydrated.”
Eric: “How can you be dehydrated with all this snow?”

“I have tears running down my face but Eric ate sperm.” – Adrienne

“You gots no moneys?” – Sara

“Your face is like nothing I have ever seen before.” (In an Apu voice) – Foreign boy to Danielle at the dance club

“I swear to god, if Stork sits behind me, and Stinky Perfume Girl sits in front of me at the exam I’m going to have a caniption!” – Sara

“If you want to be a plumber, you don’t learn air conditioning.” – Sara

Amanda: My industrial monks cd is cool. They rap in latin.
Eric (rapping): E plurbis unim.

Eric: Your hair could grow at exponential rates.
Adrienne: Yeah, I cut it every day.

“Biron is like Hasek, just hotter.” – Danielle

“What, he can’t multi-task?” – Sara (in response to her IM window being buried on Eric’s screen and him not replying forever)

“I want to go home and play with my towel.” – Danielle

Sara: “It smells like cologne”
Danielle: “It smells like Jay”
Adrienne: “I didn’t notice before. It smells good! It smells good on this end, but bad on the other end.”

“I’m not an orgy virgin.” – Adrienne

“Smell your towel.” – Sara

“Brrr. Cold, Cold, Cold.” – Danielle

“I can’t sit there or my ass will get all pilly.” – Sara

“Jesus. Two hours is a long time, I think I would die.” – Sara (hint: axl rose)

“I don’t know. Maybe he wanted to be comfortable while he got his penis sanded.” – Sara

“Michael, you can’t be intimidating with a plastic face.” – Danielle.

Danielle: “*whine* I can’t find my sooooock?”
Sara: “What are you crying about?”
Danielle: “*whine* I lost my sock, it was on and now it’s not.”
(she changed her pants and somehow lost her sock)

“He was going down on the wood” – Carolyn

“He’s fucking in the wrong place.” – Danielle

“the tight snach caused the death of a virgin” – Sara – describing names of mixed drinks

Sara: “He’s fucking in the wrong place.”
Danielle: “Shove it in”
Adrienne: “oh oh oh” (no this conversation was not about sex)

Danielle: “what the fuck, hell, heck, is that?!”
Sara: “Nice one.”
Danielle: “God what is wrong with me?!”

Eric: “woah!”
Us: “what?”
Eric: “I just looked at the shadow of my hair.”

Danielle: “I asked him about his puppy.”
Adrienne: “It’d probably be a dog now.”

“If I was single I’d be a lethal weapon.” – Eric

Eric: “I don’t wish ill will on anybody”
Us: *blank stares*
Eric: “Ok I guess I do, but not my friends.”

Danielle: “there’s fingerprints on paige.”
Sara: “why? are you caressing his picture?”
Danielle: “No i just had the urge to touch it.”
Sara: “so you are caressing it.”
Danielle: “no i just wanted to touch it.”
Sara: “why?”
Danielle: *whine* “i don’t know. I just had the urge to touch it and now there are smudges on his stomach.”
Sara: “that’s going on the site.”
Danielle: *whine* “noooooo! nooooo! I sound like a psycho stalker. I promise i wont hurt him!”

Danielle: “is it weird i used ‘entity’ in a sentence?”
Sara: *laughs* “yes!”
Danielle: “i’m so weeeeiiiird! i’m such a freeeeaak! What’s wrong with me?!?!?! “

Danielle: “normal people don’t use ‘entities’ when they’re chatting”

“People’s genitalia don’t pop in my head in the middle of the day!” – Danielle

Sara: “That’s going on the site.”
Danielle: “why am i always on the site?!”
Sara: “cuz you’re funny.”
Danielle: “i know.”

“I’m drooling….and i can’t stop….oh and now i’m crying. i’m in need of some serious psychiatric help.” – Danielle

“Cuz they’re on me!” – sara

“He bent him all the way over!!” – danielle

“If you were an ATP pump, imagine how shitty your life would be.” – Danielle

“If i’m having a heart attack I go to the hospital. if i have heart burn i take antacid.” – Sara (once again, another quote like the aircondition/plumber one that danielle thought was funny, and made me put on the site. even tho it’s really not funny unless, apparently, you heard the way Sara said it….and since it’s in type…i don’t see the point of putting it up, but WHATEVER)

“…so it’s decided we’re going to toronto on saturday afternoon, until tuesday afternoon. unless it’s blizzarding. and yes that is a verb. it’s a verb if you live in buffalo.” – Sara in her blog

Eric: What’s the opposite of elevated?
Sara: Um…the downward spiral?

Eric: The sermon on the mount. *mutters quietly* I actually don’t even know what that was.
Sara: I think I was there.

Thursday, July 31

eric: what’s taking so long for our food
sara: they’re killing the cow, er the chicken
eric: they’re choking the chicken
*all laugh*
adrienne: yeah that’s what your savory cheese sauce is made out of
posted by sara 3:54 PM

Sunday, December 22

“that’s not a web, that’s just a mess.” – adrienne
posted by sara 12:45 PM

Friday, November 22

*sara, eric and adrienne rubberneck past an accident on the highway – over turned tractor trailer*
adrienne: it looks like there’s something trapped under the truck.
eric: well it’s a lumber truck, the lumber is all over, which makes it look cooler.
posted by sara 12:51 AM

Sunday, October 20

eric: she was mackin me pretty hardcore
eric: hehe
carolyn: WHOA
carolyn: she was macking you
carolyn: slut
posted by sara 8:44 PM

Thursday, October 17

vacant enigma: easier to say
WooPopRIT: hah ayeha
vacant enigma: toomany syllables
vacant enigma: esp when drunk hehe
WooPopRIT: one syllable instead of 4
WooPopRIT: hehe
vacant enigma: lol
WooPopRIT: ok 43
posted by sara 11:57 PM

Friday, September 13

this was a long time coming. i’m lazy. it’s from my birthday dinner, june 28th.

about eric – “no i don’t think he can – he’s gonna put a hole in it”

i forget if i said that or adrienne said that. haha

thursday, november 15

eric: whyd you think I was rippin ya off or something? 🙂
sara: yes, like always 🙂
sara: cuz i’m the trendsetter
eric: haha
sara: 🙂 we know it’s true
eric: nah, I totally didnt even see yours till I went back
eric: hehe
sara: keep tellin urself that
sara: it was all subconscious
eric: but yeah usually, you think of these things
sara: lol
eric: the comments were cool
sara: as long as you recognize the fact i’m great it’s ok
eric: hehehe
sara: 🙂
sara: i’m having an ego moment, i appologize
posted by sara @ 6:01 PM

wednesday, november 14

danielle: mostare balads is awsome

adrienne: hey, i’m making up my own career, you can too LOL

sara: EW
sara: someone with a pumpkin stem up their ass
sara: fucking a pumpkin
sara: lol
adrienne: omg NASTY
sara: lol
adrienne: haha
sara: and now someone with their penis in the same pumpkins mouth
sara: haha
adrienne: so its a jackolantern? wonderful
sara: oh yeah
sara: its carved LOL
adrienne: hahah
sara: lol
adrienne: well of course its carved… duh HAHA
sara: lol
sara: well i mean opposed to someone fucking a non carved pumpkin
adrienne: why else would u fuck a pumpkin?
sara: lolol

danielle: OMG
sara: ?
danielle: i just say these 2 pics of bobby
danielle: one of him playing and the ad for his drunm sticks
sara: uhhuh
danielle: and he has a silver thumb ring (band) on his left thumb
danielle: totally like me
sara: lol ok
danielle: and i did it WAY befre it was “kool”
sara: LOL
danielle: he just wants to be like me\
sara: u trend setter u!


wednesday, november 28

danielle: i just think its like ‘your face is like nothing ive ever seen before”….mulitiplied by the creepy factor a trillion billion times
danielle: lol
sara: hahah
posted by sara @ 12:08 AM

danielle: if you were at a guys house and you were getting it on and he put in that song
danielle: wouldnt you be scared
sara: um no
sara: LOL
danielle: id be liek wtf is wrong with you
danielle: “i want to fuck you liek an animal”
danielle: that wouldnt scare you
sara: hahah nope
danielle: id run like hell
danielle: lol
sara: LOL
danielle: i mean i understand why pple would pick it i gues…cuz its obvoiusly super sexual….
danielle: but scary
danielle: very scary
sara: its only scary to u lol
danielle: i was proud of myself that i knew what song that was
danielle: “i want to fuckyou like na animal”
danielle: i want to feel you from the inside?
sara: i wanna feel u from the inside
danielle: is that right
danielle: ooo im good
sara: lol
danielle: arent you proud
sara: you get me closer to god
danielle: ok so that part isnt bad
danielle: its kinda cute
sara: yeah
danielle: like if i was having sex and the guy was like you brought me closer to god…
danielle: i would think it was cute
danielle: weird but cute
danielle: but I want to fuck you like an animal
danielle: is just plain creepy
sara: hahahahah
danielle: and the i want to feel you from the inside
danielle: thats a little scetchy too
sara: hahah
posted by sara @ 12:05 AM

monday, november 26

eric’s funny survey responses:
22. Are you trendy? I WEAR TRENDY FUCK PANTS!!!!
25. Who is your idol? Billy.

tuesday, december 4

adrienne: so does he have a totoo?
sara: no
sara: larry does
sara: and so does Dorthey in Oz
posted by sara @ 6:32 PM

danielle: i want to know if you think he was doing wha ti think he was doing
adrienne: WTF… he was touching you and moving his hand or the hand was nder the tanle moving??
sara: nice typos
danielle: NO
carolyn: rofl
adrienne: shut up
adrienne: LOL
danielle: he wasnt touching ME
carolyn: i so dont get this
carolyn: he didnt touch you
danielle: no
carolyn: so whats the story?
carolyn: hes just fidgety
danielle: he was sitting across from me
adrienne: ok.. so it was like he was wacking off???
sara: hahahaha
danielle: well i wasnt going to be like hey andy are you masturbating
danielle: so wtf was he doing then
adrienne: LOL no.. HAHA
danielle: cuz really i would like an alternative idea
sara: hahahahahah
sara: CRABS
adrienne: dunno.. besides itching.. HAHA
danielle: cuz thats really what it looked like
carolyn: wtf would this guy be like doing the fiveknuckleshuffle in a library
carolyn: thats so wrong
sara: he says he fucks alot
sara: so hes got crabs
adrienne: its kinda weird any way you look at it
sara: fiveknuckle suffel in the library
danielle: yea i kno
adrienne: LMAO
danielle: lmao
sara: some kid wacked off in church and then they had to stand and shake hands
adrienne: OMG
danielle: lmao that is sooo gross
danielle: ok so in the lib i should have benn like hey i have a few qs….
carolyn: if this guy can keep his erection in his pants
carolyn: and wack off
adrienne: you can kinda tell…. just dont get caught looking HAHA
danielle: 1. did you just whip out yoru dick
carolyn: the either has no penis to speak of
danielle: 2. are you hands in your pants
sara: ROFL
adrienne: HAHA
danielle: 3. are you masturbating
adrienne: ROFL
carolyn: or he has way too much practice
danielle: and by the way how big is yoru dick
adrienne: HAHAH
sara: i’d go for the too much pratcie bit
danielle: yea
sara: lol

thursday, december 13

adrienne: when some one was taking the exam today.. they had male exam…. and the penis FELL OFF when they were palpating ROFLMAO
sara: hahahahahahahahah
adrienne: she was like “i dont think thats normal”
adrienne: hahahhahahhahah
sara: its like, a pretend dummy or something?
adrienne: yeah… we call it totum pole man… its just a square with an atachable penis and scrotums (you can pick different scrotums with different problems) LMAO you;d laff sooo hard at this thing
adrienne: we also have a “dial a prostate”
adrienne: LMAO
sara: OMG ROFL
posted by sara @ 5:56 PM

regarding adrienne’s exam the next day
adrienne: but its oral, so i’ll feel sooo dumb HAHAH
sara: oooh
sara: ROFL
sara: oral
adrienne: YES ORAL
adrienne: lol
sara: hahah
sara: no comment 😉
adrienne: 😛 ok….
sara: hahahah
adrienne: it would be even funnier if you knew what it was on ROFL
sara: ooooooh LOL
sara: penises?
adrienne: hahaha
sara: hah
adrienne: yup… thats part of it…
adrienne: also vaginas and rectums
sara: hahahaha
sara: that is too appropriate
adrienne: i kno hahah
sara: hahahah
adrienne: LMAO
posted by sara @ 5:52 PM

tuesday, december 11

posted by sara @ 11:01 AM

sunday, december 9

sara: did u see the pics from his (eric’s) party last night, eric’s wearing a bra
adrienne: OMG hahahahah
sara: LOL

friday, february 1

*sound suddenly goes off the tv*
mary: did you turn the vcr off?
adrienne: haha i thought i went deaf!

saturday, february 9

danielle: what’s bono’s real name?
sara: paul
danielle: *laughing* HOW DORKY
sara: that’s what you said the last time you asked me.
danielle: what’s edge’s real name
sara: david
danielle: that’s not too bad
sara: well i would hope so, it’s your brothers name
danielle: i always hated his name. i was always like, you got such a shitty name. but it’s grown on me.
posted by sara @ 1:22 PM

friday, february 8

danielle: when you’re pissed off nothing makes you feel better than “Fucking whore!!”
posted by sara @ 8:54 PM

wednesday, february 6

danielle: thats it
danielle: im going
danielle: my house
danielle: i can pee when i want to

thursday, february 14

*on tv* melissa to roy: “judas”
danielle: poor roy.
sara: he’s gonna feel really bad when she gets the stigmata
posted by sara @ 11:02 PM

sunday, february 10

sara: and from there i got the html page of the mov, and from that the url of the mov 🙂 i am god
eric: haha rockin

wednesday, february 20

sara: considering we just established how boring we are, it’s nice to have someone think i’m interesting LOL
eric: there ya go!
sara: hahah
eric: I’ll get that in class very rarely
eric: someones like, youre interesting, Im like, well, hang around a little longer, you’ll get over that 🙂
sara: ROFL
posted by sara @ 2:38 PM

sunday, february 17

“you can’t lisp if you have no tongue!” – danielle

thursday, february 28

eric: what are the lyrics in your profile>?
sara: u mean u dont know?!
eric: not at the moment
sara: hahahahah
eric: Im gonna kick myself, but
sara: but…
sara: what was ur guess
eric: no clue
sara: ooh
sara: its econoline
sara: its digging the heroine
eric: I just listened to that today too
sara: LOL
sara: its a rare day
sara: hahah u dont know lyrics!
eric: haha I know
eric: hehe
eric: revoke my membership for today
posted by sara @ 10:39 PM

wednesday, february 27

danielle: how do you function being straight edge!!
posted by sara @ 10:33 AM

tuesday, february 26

danielle: we are so sad
sara: why?
danielle: not only do we check eachother’s blogs like 5 times a day, and read all the comments, but we have long drawn out conversations through blogger comments. and we comment as famous people, and we respond to them… like I responded to JP. how sad are we!?!?!
sara: hahahahahahahaha i know!!!!

saturday, march 9

sara: go to ur house?
eric: good 🙂
sara: or marys
eric: yah
sara: which one lol
posted by sara @ 1:00 PM

thursday, march 7

danielle: they could totally prompoote the new korn cd piggy back
danielle: *promote
sara: lol
sara: lololol
danielle: prompoote? wtf is that? those arent even the right letters
danielle: preom poote
danielle: that was great
sara: lol
danielle: prom poote
danielle: wtf is that????
sara: hahahah

sunday, march 17

retro quote
the scene: townhouse party. danielle, muhammed, sara and others are staring at the painting on the wall.

danielle: it’s scary. it’s got three eyes. it’s like that tool song…what’s it called?
sara: third eye?!?!
danielle: ahh yeah that’s it!!


wednesday, april 3

danielle: noooo he’s getting his porn mustache back!
sara: nooo
danielle: it’s back!!!
posted by sara @ 7:41 PM

sunday, march 31

sara: Well Il’l take that off my list – no sex with Mary and Eric
eric: Well there are exceptions to every rule

wednesday, june 19

eric: that girl did not need to be drawing attention to her ass. and she had a wedgie. why is that in style anyway?
sara: wedgies are in style?

sunday, june 23

eric and sara: discussing kids identifying with papa roach and rap rock bands
*big pause*
eric: but trent is still god. no matter what anyone says.

thursday, august 1

playing pool
eric: dude, it’s a stop light!!
posted by sara @ 11:22 PM

adrienne: danielle, i’ll see you in the toilet bowl

wednesday, august 28

eric – do you think that we’re cool enough that people talk about us
sara & adrienne – no
eric – yeah me neither

sunday, october 20

eric: she was mackin me pretty hardcore
eric: hehe
carolyn: WHOA
carolyn: she was macking you
carolyn: slut

tuesday, january 1

carolyn: now i know what sperm feel like
posted by sara @ 2:03 AM

sunday, december 30

adrienne: i can’t eat ketchup
danielle: hysterically laffing
adrienne: you’re thinking about steve heinze arent you?
danielle: still laffing, nodding yes
adrienne: i cant eat ketchup after eating all the pickles


adrienne: danielle can eat ketchup even if she doesn’t like it

deep thoughts

deep thoughts…by jack handey

Too bad you can’t buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

When you’re riding in a time machine way far into the future, don’t stick your elbow out the window, or it’ll turn into a fossil.

To me, it’s a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, “Hey, can you give me a hand?” you can say, “Sorry, got these sacks.”

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he’s carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he’s carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you’re drunk.

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

It’s fascinating to think that all around us there’s an invisible world we can’t even see. I’m speaking, of course, of the World of the Invisible Scary Skeletons.

If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast.

I don’t think I’m alone when I say I’d like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable – until I realized it wasn’t a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I’ll go over to the person’s house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I’m gone, but you know what I’ve left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says “You.” After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It’s a shark riding on an elephant’s back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

Laurie got offended that I used the word “puke.” But to me, that’s what her dinner tasted like.

We used to laugh at Grandpa when he’d head off and go fishing. But we wouldn’t be laughing that evening when he’d come back with some whore he picked up in town.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a direct hit from a big rock half-buried in the ground. You pull and you pull, but you can’t get the rock out of the ground. So you give it a good kick, but you lose your balance and go skidding down the hill toward the pool. Then out comes a big Hawaiian man who was screwing his wife beside the pool because they thought it was real pretty. He tells you to get out of there, but you start faking it, like you’re talking Hawaiian, and then he gets mad and chases you…

I think a good product would be “Baby Duck Hat”. It’s a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

I remember one day I was at Grandpa’s farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, “Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don’t we go out to the horse pasture and I’ll show you.” So we did, and there on the ground were my parents having sex.

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? And after you’re real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lie down and go to sleep.

went to school with danielle… afshani wasnt there, is gone for the week in San Diego or something. arg. but saw Corey, talked to him for awhile. it’s always nice to see him.

then i took her to comp usa to find a cord for her comp speakers.. no one has one, no one can even order one. not even gateway country store. retards. HOWEVER our trip was not made for nothing. We saw the OSCAR MEYER WEINER MOBILE DRIVING DOWN THE BLVD!!!!!!!! HAHAHAH can you imagine anything better than that?!?!?!

i got hate mail LOL

Subject: I love Your Website
Date: Wed, 01 Aug 2001 15:45:12 -0400
From:”Robert Smith”

Not really, Sara!!! Are you and your three retarded friends in Ritulin? If not, you should be. Better yet, try some sleeping pills mixed with alcohol!!

I can’t believe that you even bother to maintain a site. And your concert listing. Do you have a life? Does your stepmom know that you are using her computer at home? Better yet, do you really think anyone cares? I mean, you guys are four zitfaced/overweight/103.3 Edge listening/non-music picking
ability/ fist/finger fucking little punks. What’s your deal with that faggy Orgy band? I mean, get real.

Have you heard of real bands like Janes Addiction, The Smiths, REM, Joy Division, Bauhaus, Husker Du? Well, have you? That’s real fucking music!!

The only way I found your site is that I was looking for a review on the Buffalo U2 show. I was there, and appreciate you listing out the set. Now, your little 19 year old comments I could do without.

Anyway, here’s to you pigface!!!”

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha that made my day. i needed a good laff. so i wrote him back

to: robert smith

1. i really don’t care what you think of me or my website
2. if you didnt like my site why take the time to explore so much of it as to make comments on my “3 retarded friends” the fact that i occasionally listen to 103.3, but not enough to realize that i nor my
friends are overweight, my parents arent divorced, and we have 3 computers.
3. i really don’t care what kind of bands you like. i have heard of all of the bands you mentioned, and don’t like any of them.
4. i’m not 19.
5. maybe you should find your own personality instead of having an email called Robert Smith.

thanks for visiting, come back soon 🙂

oh and fyi, orgy adores the smiths, the cure, and bauhaus….doesnt that just piss u right off? a bunch of fags like such GREAT bands…

and there are plenty of other places to find the u2 set besides my site….

and i think i should ask you if YOU have a life, since you have the time to send me such a nice email 🙂

have a good day.”

i love it